The Inevitable

Quizzes!~

2010-08-07T23:36:00.000+08:00

You hate categories and labels. You're your own person, going through life at your own pace, making your own rules and breaking them, too. Your exterior may appear rough but that doesn't mean there isn't a heart of gold deep down. You are cool and laid back, at times cynical but also vulnerable. Your friends know they can count on you.

This was a quiz result!! Quite true IMO..

Ideas that stick in your head

2010-08-06T21:45:00.005+08:00

So Inception. Pretty cool movie huh?

I personally believe in Si Min’s theory that the whole movie was a dream. Right to the very end. So if so, it was a dream within a dream within a dream within a dream. 4 levels. Incredible.

But what I really wanna know was, was that a dream for me as well? Could it possibly have been a 5 level dream? A dream within a dream within a dream within a dream within a dream? That must have been some super strong sedative to knock us out that hard.

It is possible. After all, why else would the people in the show have seemed so familiar, even if we could not trace where they came from exactly. Were they mere projections of our sub-conscious? Each of us giving our own input…

I wonder how many years I spent inside that theatre really, given that in the real world it was only 2.5 hours…

If it really was a dream, then was it extraction? What were they trying to extract? If it was a dream, did I really pay that 6 dollars to go watch that movie? *runs to check wallet* Damn. I did. So maybe they’ve found a way to get my money now…

Or perhaps perhaps it was inception. Planting the idea that the whole thing was a dream into my subconscious and making me think it was my own idea. When it actually wasn’t, or was it?

Well, if it really was a dream, then I’m honoured to have shared this dream with the best dream team I could have ever had – 老婆, Si Minnie and Amandy!! I kindof wish I never got the “kick” for today’s dream was the best one I’ve had in a long long time. Whoever the architect was, you did a bloody damn good job!

Eames, I'm impressed.

Your condescension is always much appreciated Arthur, thank you.

Pictures speak for themselves

2010-07-29T21:35:00.007+08:00

Been part of the Dunmanian family, species Slackeris for too long.

Time to face extinction.

There's still a long way to go and I still have time.

Need to make full use of it.

Need to make sure I don't burn out.

It's hard to be in denial anymore.

It's really coming.

And I don't wanna be the one regretting come next year.

In the meantime, thanks to my awesome friends for keeping me alive.

For 陪-ing me to study at the LC.

You girls are amazing!!

In particular, babe, thanks for keeping me grounded.

HWAITING EVERYONE!!

Maybe

2010-06-20T22:46:00.004+08:00

Oh yeah, it abso-fucking-lutely hurts.

You did it again.

Or maybe I'm just too fucking sensitive.

Or maybe I asked for it.

Because I chose to say I would stay away.

Or maybe I should stop being so fucking reliant on you.

Or maybe I should get a life.

Or maybe I should stop being such a loser.

Then maybe, you would like me again.

Maybe you would like me more.

Maybe you would want to hang around me more.

Maybe you would make an effort for me.

Have I mentioned lately that I hate the word maybe?

Well, yeah, maybe Nicole is a sad, pathetic, fucked up wreck.

Yeah, just like how maybe Obama is black.

Yeah that has to be it.

Your heart is oh-so-cold

2010-06-08T17:36:00.002+08:00

Do you know what it feels like loving someone who's in a rush to throw you away?

You really have no clue what this is doing to me do you?

Do you even care?

I guess not.

Heartbreak Hotel

2010-06-08T16:34:00.001+08:00

Do you not understand that everytime you say or do something like that, my heart breaks once again? Not entirely sure how much more I can take.

Just answer me.

I was never ever your #1 was I?

lalala

2010-06-07T15:24:00.001+08:00

Will update about ASEAN soon!!!

Best 4 days in a while, missing them already and just wait for photo spam!!

Will

2010-05-29T16:39:00.001+08:00

I will update soon.

I will.

Loss

2010-05-06T20:28:00.004+08:00

I guess its just going to take time, but will it ever really go away?

As I stood there on Sunday, trying desperately not cave in to the tears pooling in my eyes, I looked at my cousins and my brother. All the young kids not crying, seemingly not even conscious that their grandfather was going to be out of their lives, permanently. The idea of loss must be pretty foreign to one so young, I can only hope it does not hit them later on in life, for the burden and the pain that comes with it is acute and long-lasting.

I should know. I caved in.

And now, everytime, every single fucking time I look at his photo, or think of him, I am hit by the empty depraved feeling of having lost something. I feel it when I pass by his house, something which happens on my way to school and on my way back from school, if it feels like this, will I be able to handle physically being in the house?

I am so grateful that he recorded those music videos before he passed, and to think of the circumstances under which he did so makes it even more amazing. My grandfather had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer 2 years ago and he had a 50% chance if he operated, despite being over 80 years of age, he decided to fight. He went for it and he came back stronger than ever. He filmed those music videos, having loved the concept for many years. The inclusion of all of us in those videos makes it even more poignant and memorable. After the non-stop looping of the DVD during the wake, it is safe to say that the song which my family stars in is seared into my brain. My grandfather, one of the most amazing men I have ever known, his fighting spirit is an inspiration to myself and yes, he is my hero.

I hope that someday, my cousins and my baby bro will pick up that DVD and play it again. Not to cringe at the horror that they must feel they looked like in that video, but to appreciate our grandfather for everything that he is. A man who strove hard for everything, a man who took his roles and responsibilities seriously, a man who despite his Chinese upbringing could speak fairly decent English, a man who adapted to the times, a man who was generous yet thrifty, a man who loved life and knew how to enjoy it and a man, who, although may not have shown it in the most obvious of ways, knew how to love.

Ah Gong, I'm going to miss you so so much.

Excuse me while I go to my room to cave in again.

FEEL LIKE SHOUTING

2010-04-24T23:47:00.004+08:00

TAO RUSPOLI IS A LUCKY BASTARD.

DARN LUCKY GUY.

DAMN IT.

I AM SO JEALOUS RIGHT NOW.

AND GREAT.

YUP.

THIS IS WHAT IT SEEMS LIKE.

I'VE GOT A NEW CELEB CRUSH.

BUT JB, DON'T WORRY!

I'LL NEVER FORGET YOU.

FIMS

2010-04-24T23:35:00.002+08:00

Things have been crazy, and I've more or less slacked today away. URGH. But been totally stuck in a rut, what people would refer to as a energy slump. Just can't seem to do anything right today. This whole week as well, FIMS I swear is haunting me.

Anyway, just wanna clarify something, I think my use of the term a little liberal but when I say I would turn les for someone? I don't mean that in the I'm physically lusting after her way, I mean that in the OMG She's so darn awesome, I wanna spend the rest of my life basking in her awesomeness kind of way or in the I want to be on the receiving end of that coolness for the rest of my life way. Not whatever it is you're thinking.

LOLS. Glad that's cleared up, because if I tried to explain myself there and then, FIMS would probably come along again. URGH.

Have you ever loved and lost somebody?

Buy 4D someone

2010-04-15T22:22:00.003+08:00

Well!! It's been ages since I've updated, and still my mom accuses me of spending too much time blogging. >:(

Oh well, life sucks sometimes, you just got to suck it back up!

Anyways, let's summarise my life right now -----> Kindof good, been writing a lot more and getting loads of nice comments which always helps, met this really cool fellow Singaporean on the site and read her gf's fics (which are bloody damn good) and it's been nice to talk to her.. School is school and I'm freaking out over tmr's PW thingy, but can't do anything now, it's all in the hands of Fate.

That said, the whole GP thingy about religion and science has been really really intriguing, very thought-provoking. I'm still quite sure about my stand, but I'm open to opinions. =)

I have no idea what kind of post this is gonna be, I feel like I'm just writing whatever comes to my head, which according to Ms Teo, is a bad thing for my essays.. =/ Oh well, another thing that just hit me is that I think the reason LGBT is such an issue all over the world is because people don't have enough information about it, they see the stereotypes, they see only certain sides of the story so they feel disgusted/appalled/horrified/weirded out by the areas that they see, but I find that as a whole, it really does come down to love. For a whole dissertation on that, go back to my earlier blogpostrant on gay love.

Also another random thought, Singapore is soooo biased. =D

So alluding to my post title, accident today, I can literally say I've been in a 'life or death' situation with the woman. HAHAHAHA.. =D

Life is a rollercoaster, everytime you hit a bump, you can either throw your hands up and scream or you can fall off.

MK

2010-04-02T15:00:00.004+08:00

Tell me, tell me, tell me something I don't know, something I don't know, something I don't know

How many inches in a mile

What it takes to make you smile

Get you not to treat me like, a child baby

Am I not allowed to be pissed? Well, that's an infringement of my human rights. Go read it yourself at here.

Articles 13 pt1, 19, 23 pt1, 24 and 29 in particular.

Can't wait to get out of here and back to school.

2010-03-30T23:49:00.002+08:00

Feeling extremely Sylvia Plath right now.

Just emo-ing.

I said it today.

It hurt.

But it had to be done.

Just like how I have to learn.

To move on.

The End

2010-03-25T21:57:00.004+08:00

This is not fiction

I trusted love's cruel vision..

Don't tell me that this how we're gonna end the story

This is how you're gonna leave the glory

This is how you're gonna find me

With nothing with a picture to remind me

Is this the end.

Saying something, knowing something and doing something about it are totally different things.

I think, although I know it's happening, I've been putting it at the edge of my consciousness? It's like I'm on the outside looking in on my own life, kind of surreal.

Yet, now I have to confront it, have to say it out loud, have to do something about it. But I'm afraid. I'm afraid that if I say it out loud, it'll become real.

And I'm afraid that I'll break down when the reality hits. God help me.

Super Psycho Love

2010-03-24T21:13:00.003+08:00

Something lately drives me crazy, has to do with how you make me struggle to get your attention.

I hate how you love me one second and drop me the next, I mean, what the heck did I do this time?

I say its ok, and that I can handle it, but every time it happens, it drives the wedge deeper into my heart.

I understand that it's not a once in a blue moon thingy? That it happens because of who you are, but its easier said than done to actually deal with it.

Fell in love with an Android baby

Acting

2010-03-22T22:25:00.003+08:00

I gotta pose for the cameras

Even when my world's falling down

I still wear a smile

Lucky me

Even though I'm so damaged

I gotta pick myself up and perform for the crowd

Lucky me

Scaling New Heights

2010-03-18T00:28:00.007+08:00

She'll be coming round the mountain when she comes,

She'll be coming round the mountain,

She'll be coming round the mountain when she comes.

LOLS. Obviously this is referring to my dearest Zeus, who is so amazingly awesome, she climbed a mountain. Not Olympus, but close. =))

It's officially Thursday and that means she'll be back soon. =))))

No idea why I'm missing her this badly, and its kindof irrational, but sighs, life works in mysterious ways. I know one thing for sure, I wanna talk to her!!! I wanna find out how she survived that damn climb and all.

MY HERO/HEROINE SIA..

Every minutes' like an hour

Every hour's like a day

Every day lasts forever

But what else can I do?

I'll wait forever and a day for you

Life

2010-03-13T16:13:00.004+08:00

Percy Jackson was awesome. Seriously Logan Lerman is HAWT. But sighs, that was but an escape from the harsh reality that surrounds me. Oh well.

I remember that day, I was talking to Jie Zhi about our class people and how they're all dieting and eating healthily. A bit too healthily in my opinion. lols. And I told him that my motto is Live Fast, Die Young.

Jie Zhi then asked me:"Huh, why would you want to do that? Don't you want to do something meaningful with your life?" I then stared at him and he finally figured out what I was trying to tell him "Oh... That's right, you do loads of community work, that is meaningful I guess." Which I admit is true, that is one thing that I'm proud of in my life, but there are other things.

I've always wondered what it would be like to die, part of the whole homo sapiens' morbid fascination with death I guess. And most of all, what I really want to know is if anyone would mourn my passing. Not counting family of course, because that's like part of their duty in anycase. But I would like to know if anyone else outside of my family would bother to come, because that would tell me whether or not I've achieved something in this life.

At this ripe old age of 17 and 3 months, I feel I have achieved a fair bit of things. Let's go through them shall we?

Academically:

Admittedly, this is one area I can't say I'm particularly proud of. I have been a slacker for pretty much all of my life, and if I dig deep, I can say that its because I take some things for granted, or life has been too easy for me.

However, I guess I can say that getting into GEP has to count for something
Getting into Dunman High also has to count for something
Getting into the L class has to count for something and
Getting A2 and B3 for HCL and MEP respectively definitely counts for something

Dreams:

I used to dream of being a writer, and I have achieved this in some way, I've co-authored a thesis in CHINESE for a NUS mentorship program and its been published. I've also written fanfic online and published it and received encouragement and praise.
I used to dream of being a lawyer, defending my clients. Now I refuse to consider being a lawyer but if you look at my CCA choice - ISAC, I can see it as a realization of this dream in another way. I'm taking part in MUNs and ASEAN+, defending my country's stand. I'm debating issues based on laws, technicalities and various other components. So I can say that this dream has been realised as well.
I used to dream of being able to rough it out in the wild. For this dream, I have to thank my schools for allowing me to be able to do this. Tao Nan - for introducing me to SPARKC, which was the primary school version of OBS, it was awesome and it prepped me for worser stuff to come. Dunman High - for bringing us on adventure camps, especially the one at Kota Tinggi, that was amazing and I enjoyed it TTM.
I wanted to travel around the world. As of now, on family trips, I have been to Malaysia, Indonesia, Japan, Korea, Taiwan, USA and Australia. Considering that I'm 17 only, that is quite a lot of places, for that I'm grateful as well.
I wanted to be knowledgeable!! (I know, what a nerdy dream right -_-) I think now, as a result of ISAC, GP and my own interest in current affairs, I do know a lot. As a result of family trips, I have gained exposure to other cultures and to things that I would never have known if I were here in Singapore only. The woman calls me a know-it-all, I personally think no one can ever know-it-all but since she says so, I'm gonna take that as evidence this dream has been realised too.

Social:

I want to think that my friends are gonna turn up at my funeral, even if its to spit on my coffin. Because that still means I've made an impact, regardless of whether its positive or negative. If its positive, then I'm glad that I've managed to do that for you. If its negative, then I'm happy to have been a example of what-not-to-do.
I think I've quite a wide circle of friends and some closer ones. Some who embarrassingly know all about the dumb things I've ever done and some who only see the side of me that I allow them to see. I sincerely hope the first group will turn up, because thats the group that have seen me, all of me, and they have to decide for themselves whether I truly am worthy of their mourning. Because make no mistake about it, I have a gazillion flaws. If you wanna know how many, go ask the woman.

Personal:

I think as Jie Zhi mentioned, I am pretty proud that I have managed to discover this facet of life that has so much meaning and brings so much joy to my life. I thank Mrs Koh for that and Ms Tan for giving me so many opportunities, for grooming me. I am lucky to have found an outlet for my energy and I feel happy knowing that with the community work I have done, I have definitely made an impact on society, whether it is acknowledged or not. I'm glad I joined YVIP, because it really was the most awesome camp ever. It opened my eyes, and welcomed me into a huge family of people. Although I regret not going back to help, I do feel that if I ever needed their help for a project, they would oblige. =)
Right now, my goal is to become a psychologist or a sociologist, or a political scientist. Whatever really, as long as I can study people/social systems and figure out what makes them tick. This would help me to help others in society. That really is my main goal: To give back to society. I think in a way I have achieved this, through being a mini-mentor/counsellor of sorts. I may not be the best, but I have tried and on occasion succeeded, whether through pure brute force or not. And by brute force I mean nagging at that person until I break down their barriers. Not like violence or anything. I'm not about to name those people, but I think they know who they are. I wanna thank you all because I have gained so much from interacting with all of you.

And after looking at this list, I realised that it really isn't the length of lives that matter, but it is the depth. I thank you all for allowing me to live such a long enriching and invigorating life. And no, I'm not planning on committing suicide lols. I realise it kindof sounds like one huh. Just counting my blessings if you may. =)

P.S. I miss you already.

Curveballs

2010-03-11T23:41:00.003+08:00

How do you make painful choices? Painful to you but a relief to others.

Sometimes life throws you curveballs that really make you think, it tears down everything that you ever stood for and shifts your whole paradigm.

How would I make that choice? Am I being selfish in not wanting to make it? I don't want it to hurt, but neither do I want to hurt others. Maybe its because I'm not ready to let go yet, thing is, what if it happens before I have time for closure? What then?

Sighs. Moodswinging now also. Got a lot of things on my mind, need to sort them out. Need to hold back the tears and remember the good times. Yet, the good times bring on tears as well.

Update

2010-03-10T22:44:00.002+08:00

Damn freaking heavy. I really cannot tahan. (Woman, I apologise for using this word but no other way to better express myself than in Singlish. I'll be bathing extra next week for you alright?)

On another POV, that may mean it'll end earlier. Sighs. Hope is such an elusive thing.

SOT was amazingly interesting today, despite the fact that it was wayyy too cold to think, seriously. FREAKING COLD. Like North Pole COLD. =(( I had like several epiphanies and it felt so damn good. Kena suan-ed for discussing SOT stuff with Jie Zhi but aiya, I let it slide. Jie Zhi on the other hand, blushed so badly I swear he looked like a tomato. =D

Can't wait for timed assignment tmr, let's just get it over with!!

He's back in hospital and I'm feeling his pain. I wish I could take it away.

MPZ (This is so not a typo), thanks for making me laugh today. Really needed it. That rant was awesome yo! Love ya so much! =)

BLANK

2010-03-08T22:15:00.002+08:00

Dunno why but the things you say (and do?) are starting to piss me off recently. And I dunno how to tell you. Oh well. We'll just let things run their course.

Sometimes I think I'm too nice, nice until the point that I don't know how to say no.

P.S. Sorry for randomly pangseh-ing you today when Ms Tan came by, I totally forgot that I had made an appointment to see her. ._. My memory's going luh. =( Must be your STM rubbing off on me.. =P

P.P.S. Note to self: Bring earplugs tmr to flag raising because HE is gonna be speaking into a mike, aka NOISE POLLUTION 101. -_-

SSP!!

2010-03-05T21:14:00.005+08:00

CONGRATULATIONS TO MY VERY OWN PERSONAL GOD!

You did awesome, stay awesome always!

I think my chinese is awesome too, wheee, didn't have to use correction tape this time. hahaha.. =D

I'm a lil worried about what my results are gonna turn out like next year but oh well, nothing I can do about it except work my ass off. WOMAN!! You say you have a big butt, come work it off with me too.. MUAHAHA.. XD

Congratulations to all seniors who did well too, we're proud of you. =D GRACE HO YOU ARE IMBA!!

Squish. Squash. Panda.

That somehow is insanely random+no link but so ridiculously cute. Kindof like you anyhow. =D

And kindof like this blogpost. LOLS.

I fell down in PE today while we were playing touch rugby, have like multiple abrasions on my knees and calf, on my hands and my chin. FREAKING PAINFUL TO MOVE RIGHT NOW. =(

The ones on my knee look like angry red welts now, they're like kindof swelling up? =S

Dunno what to make of it, but I know it hurts and that's all that's really sinking into my head right now.

Dunno how I'm gonna sleep tonight but I know its not gonna be comfortable. T.T

I have to say, after showering today, I discovered the importance of our palms. Seriously, with the abrasion on my left palm, I realise that I can't do so many things without it hurting. =((

LIKE FOR GOD'S SAKE, I CAN'T EVEN FACEPALM ANYMORE!!! ._.

Control

2010-03-02T23:25:00.005+08:00

Ok, I'm gonna come right off the bat and say it here first,

DISCLAIMER: I realise that you read my blog and I realise that you're gonna recognise this particular quote, but I believe you're just the only one brave enough to say it to my face and I thank you for that, this post is in no way a display of my real feelings towards you. =)

Alright, phew, now that that's over with. Let's start shall we?

Someone commented the other day that I was "henpecked". First off, I resent that statement, shall we try a lil Lit analysis?

Henpecked has connotations of being weak, giving in all the time and basically being absolutely controlled by the other person. (I realise this has obviously definition inside, I'm sorry I'm not a very good Lit student.)

I appreciate the person being able to say this to my face, because in Ms Tan Bee Hong's famous words: A good friend is someone who can tell you straight to your face your faults and call you on them and scold you for them. So thank you.

However, I dislike that label being attached to me and I prefer to see my situation in less harsh terms. First of all, yes, I admit, I give in. However, if we look at it from another perspective, it just means knowing my limits and my ability to get my way. I'm being smart actually. I know that out of 10 times, the number of times I'll get my way is probably like 1 or 2 if I'm lucky. And the consequences of pushing these limits are wayyy not worth it. So, as long as I'm ok with it, why not try to compromise whenever I can, as long as its not compromising my values or whatever?

Secondly, stepping out of my own shoes, I can see how much of a pushover I must become when around her. Seeing as how I'm normally extremely domineering around other people and am used to getting my way. True. I do normally get my way around other people or at least I don't back down that easily. Maybe it's because I'm so much less pushy with her that I have to make up for it elsewhere? Hmm. Nah, I don't think so.

I choose to believe that it's a matter of choice. I choose to give up my domineering side when I'm around her and I choose to give in to her.

In conclusion,

She's just the only person I give up control to. That's all.

Holding On

2010-02-25T21:37:00.002+08:00

Just trying to hold on. I'm getting soo tired, please help me to hold on. So many things, so many feelings, let me hold on to my sanity.

But it's harder to hold on to your hands than the hands of time
I need a hand, girl, trying to hold on
Losing strength in these hands of mine
I need you here
I'm trying to hold on
Standing here, open hands and I
Know I can't do this alone
Hold on, oh, hold on
Baby, hold on (to my hands)
Hold on to my hands (don't let go of my hands)
Don't let go

Pensive

2010-02-25T21:16:00.002+08:00

Really felt sooo tired today, like there was so much that I had to do and wanted for myself, but things just weren't going my way. Well, on the bright side, I got all of my work done. Felt so weighed down, and was just overwhelmed by it all, hence the silence.

Silence. It's a rather scary yet comforting sound. It all depends on how you interpret it. I really welcomed the silence today because it allowed me to rest and yet I hated it for being there, for allowing all those thoughts to intrude once again.

It hurts you know? It really hurts, small things that are meant to be practical and yet if you look deeper and realise the actual reasons why, it freaking hurts.

On another note, am I being foolish in thinking everything could go back to the way it used to be? Or have we all changed so much that nothing is the same anymore? That we can't fall back into our pattern?

“We’re all a little weird & when we find those people whose weirdness is compatible we join up with them & fall into a mutually satisfying weirdness & call them our best friends.”

Honestly, I crave for your company, but I don't think you know that? And call me weak but I'm afraid to voice it out for fear of rejection.

“I’m crazy about you and I want you to know that if I had the choice of hanging out with anyone in the entire world or just sitting at home with you eating a pizza and watching a crappy tv show…I’d choose you every time.”

I really rather turn down everyone else and spend the time with you, just like we used to. But sometimes I wonder whether its worth it, what happens when at the end of the day, you go off and I'm left there?? Will I be able to handle it? Who knows.

I'm really really tired, and today of all days, I wonder why I try. I pray hard I never reach this stage:

“If you want me in your life, you can find a way to put me there because frankly, I’m sick of trying.”

But I realise that your happiness means more to me than anything else in the world and if being with someone else can make you happy then by all means go ahead, just please, tell me straight to my face, so I can start picking up the pieces. If you enjoy the other person's company more than mine, make your choice. Because I hate playing second fiddle, I don't want to feel like a spare and I hate feeling like something not worthy of your attention unless you can't find what you want.

Or then again, maybe I'm just being selfish and thinking of myself only. Maybe.

“Love means that you care for another person’s happiness more than your own, no matter how painful the choices you face might be.” ~ Dear John

Choices

2010-02-22T19:02:00.002+08:00

Another day, another drama. When, oh when will I ever figure you out? Probably never I guess.

One day you will ask me to choose between my life and yours. I will say mine and you will walk away, not knowing that you are my life.

LIBERATED!!

2010-02-19T16:32:00.006+08:00

MY BRACES ARE OFF MY BRACES ARE OFF OH HEAR ME REJOICE!!

Ok, so technically, it is my fault that it took sooo long to be off, but ah heck, worth it lah.. Makes taking it off seem so much sweeter, no? =D

In celebration of it, I have decided to post this video, because I love this guy and because although I wanna do what he did, I have no wish to be in front of a camera... =)

ENJOY!!! hahahahaha, HE'S SOOO AWESOME RIGHT?! =))

Heartless?

2010-02-18T20:39:00.003+08:00

Many people have told me that I'm strong. Am I really? I guess it comes with being the oldest kid and grandkid, responsibility piled on your shoulders before you could even walk. Heh. My cousins look up to me, when I was younger I enjoyed it, because I could live up to their expectations, now I'm not too sure. Because you know,

Even heroes need heroes sometimes

Even the strong need someone to tell them it's alright

Sighs, it's been a crazy week, super tired. Next week is even more insane, seriously. Like Sitting-On-A-Rollercoaster-Without-Handlebars-Or-Straps-Kind-Of-Insane. Sighs.

On another note,

Senorita, A Vila Mon Coeur Gardi Li Mo. =)

Reunions

2010-02-13T19:24:00.003+08:00

FREAKING HATE SPRING CLEANING!!!

But Happy CNY in advance to all of you pokes out there!! =))

HAPPY VALENTINE'S TO THE LOVES OF MY LIFE TOO!! You know who you are!!

I'm not at home in my own home.

WALL-ME

2010-02-03T20:37:00.003+08:00

Sometimes, I just feel like doing that. Today was one of those times.

Have I ever told you that out of all the thrill rides at amusement parks, the Viking was the one I fell in love with first? That I loved that feeling of my stomach dropping, the adrenaline rush I got from being on top of the world?

Being with you makes me feel that way.

But I'm not sure I can take the back and forth any longer, this tension between us needs to be resolved. Some days it's there and some days it's not. I may be fairly intuitive, but I sure as hell ain't a mind reader. I have no clue what you're thinking and I don't want to guess for fear that I'm wrong. And it seems when it comes to you, I'm always wrong recently.

The funny thing is, when I think about all the things that have been pushing me to my limit nowadays, I realise that when it comes to you, I'm willing to provide unlimited credit. Take as much of me as you want, pay back whenever you can.

Being with you is like Dante's Inferno, torturous as hell, but as long as you're the one waiting for me on the other side, heck, I'll go through anything.

Alright, I got that off my chest, apology accepted btw.

Remembrance

2010-02-01T21:40:00.003+08:00

Couple of things that I remember thinking last week and today... We learnt about Facebook and social media platforms in GP, how we're all damn addicted to them...

I realised on Sunday that time is flying bloody damn fast..

And this last one is for Amanda Leong, the craziest coffee addict I know, someday, this will be a reality for you.. =)

Love you all!!

In love there's no division between right and wrong

In love there's no room for hate and rumours

Once I find you, I'm never gonna let go.

After Thought

2010-01-31T21:40:00.003+08:00

After attending 2 days worth of School Of Thought crash course, I have decided that this is what I'm going to do during the exam:

On another note, I'm absolutely happy that I met Annabel Koh today, by pure luck and chance! Great timing, we have decided that 我们两个有缘分，我们见面是命中注定的!! hahaha, I love that woman, she's so cute and so funny, MY IDOL SOME MORE!! =D I learn so much from her and I love chatting to her.

Back to school!

this was not the way I planned

Not my intentions

Random Reflections..

2010-01-28T18:22:00.003+08:00

Doing the AQ for the A.C Grayling passage on what is natural brings me back to the whole gay rights issue.. I'm a supporter of gay rights.. Although I have to admit, I understand the lesbian side of it more than the gay side but oh well, I support both nonetheless. Why is the world still having problems with it? I do not know, maybe the SMUN debate on it will come up with some interesting solutions.

ASEAN 2010 preparations have officially kicked into high gear and research needs to be done. It's a love-hate relationship and I better do as much as I can while I still love it.. =D

Anyway, just to end off, about the LGBT rights issue,

Picture = 1000 words

2010-01-25T20:19:00.009+08:00

Everyday before you wake..

Think about those who you LOVE.

And what you wanna eat.

Remember that in life, try as we may

As we're stuck behind the walls of the

education system,

Utterly Defenceless.

And

Blinded by what they say.

Just that

2010-01-15T21:31:00.002+08:00

I'm updating because the woman asked me to. Orientation was a blast! Seriously, I enjoyed it. It was fun, I lost my voice on the first day which is really getting to be a bad trend. -_- I made friends with the juniors in 5C12, they're funny.. =D They've got Michelle Leong as their CT though which is very O.O In anycase, I enjoyed talking to them, enjoyed interacting with them and I hope I'll get more chances to do so in future. =)

Just quoting Hsin Yao once again:" 只要有心去，就一定会很好玩的！" That I believe, absolutely applies to Orientation 2010. =)

Other than that, school has been insane, lessons are ridiculous because our class has like 12 people and Geog lesson was ultimate, 3 people only!! As for South Vietnam trip, go or don't go? The H1 geog people, namely the woman won't be going, she'll be ON tahan. Sam might not be going, she just came back from there and I'm honestly not really that insanely keen. It's during March Hols after all.

Trying my hand at a songfic, music and lyrics in particular really strike a chord (pun intended) within me. Hopefully, I'm still able to write. lols.

Back to school, back to another year. Back to a double marathon. Let's hope I make it through.

I wanna go where you been,

Where are you, Colleen?

Do You Remember?

2010-01-06T12:55:00.002+08:00

omg this is my 100th post and I'm using it for such a weird purpose, lols. Sighs, who knows.. Hopefully something good will come out of it. Christine, I really needed that talk with you that day so thank you very very much. =) I think you'll understand what this post is about.. haha..

I've been thinking about you

And how we used to be then

Back when, it didn't have to end

We can start again.

There's nothing left to say,

Don't waste another day,

Just you and me tonight

Everything will be okay (god I hope it will)

If it's alright with you,

Then it's alright with me,

Girl let's take this time,

Make some new memories.

Do you remember all the fun times we had?

Well, let's bring it back.

Class chalet tonight, won't be staying over cos a bit awkward to sleep and shower with my wounds, but gonna enjoy as much of it as possible. =) Here's to some FUN..

50 Random Facts..

2010-01-04T20:30:00.004+08:00

I've decided to post random things to keep myself going, because the Bintan post is STILL under construction, dunno why, just can't find the words to describe it all, I'm almost tempted to just do an all pictures post, lemme know what you think.. So in the meantime, here's 50 random interesting facts and my opinions on them.. =D

1. If you are right handed, you will tend to chew your food on your right side. If you are left handed, you will tend to chew your food on your left side. (extremely true)

2. If you stop getting thirsty, you need to drink more water. For when a human body is dehydrated, its thirst mechanism shuts off. (shit I'm never thirsty!!)

3. Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying. (but they ban gum in Singapore! D:

4. Your tongue is germ free only if it is pink. If it is white there is a thin film of bacteria on it. (runs to check tongue)

5. The Mercedes-Benz motto is “Das Beste oder Nichts” meaning “the best or nothing”. (a square box was the best they had?)

6. The Titanic was the first ship to use the SOS signal. (didn't work very well eh?)

7. The pupil of the eye expands as much as 45 percent when a person looks at something pleasing. (now I understand the image of the pupil dilating when people are "ahem" aroused...)

8. The average person who stops smoking requires one hour less sleep a night. (good for them!)

9. Laughing lowers levels of stress hormones and strengthens the immune system. Six-year-olds laugh an average of 300 times a day. Adults only laugh 15 to 100 times a day. (How often do teenagers laugh? I'm not 6, neither am I an adult!!)

10. The roar that we hear when we place a seashell next to our ear is not the ocean, but rather the sound of blood surging through the veins in the ear. (My childhood has been shattered T.T)

11. Dalmatians are born without spots. (Cruella De Vil!! This I know..)

12. Bats always turn left when exiting a cave. (So, if I stand to the right of a cave opening, I'm definitely safe?)

13. The ‘v’ in the name of a court case does not stand for ‘versus’, but for ‘and’ (in civil proceedings) or ‘against’ (in criminal proceedings). (This took me a while to process, must be due to no. 19)

14. Men’s shirts have the buttons on the right, but women’s shirts have the buttons on the left. (I have yet to figure out whether its the same for button fly pants..)

15. The owl is the only bird to drop its upper eyelid to wink. All other birds raise their lower eyelids. (The owl is wise! Less effort eh!!)

16. The reason honey is so easy to digest is that it’s already been digested by a bee. (GROSS..)

17. Roosters cannot crow if they cannot extend their necks. (Can we extend it for them?)

18. The color blue has a calming effect. It causes the brain to release calming hormones. (Why aren't exam halls blue!! Heck why isn't the MEP room blue??)

19. Every time you sneeze some of your brain cells die. (sighs.. Now I know the reason for my mental decline..)

20. Your left lung is smaller than your right lung to make room for your heart. (eeks, never knew that, how come the x-rays never show that?)

21. The verb “cleave” is the only English word with two synonyms which are antonyms of each other: adhere and separate. (extremely fascinating, Sam I bet you can't wait to use this one..)

22. When you blush, the lining of your stomach also turns red. (Extremely cool, but I really wanna know how they know this..)

23. When hippos are upset, their sweat turns red. (AHA! That's how they know they're sick..)

24. The first Harley Davidson motorcycle was built in 1903, and used a tomato can for a carburetor. (Was it a collaboration between Campbell and Harley Davidson?)

25. The lion that roars in the MGM logo is named Volney. (Extremely cool, but weird name. Did you also know that the Metro department store was named after MGM?)

26. Google is actually the common name for a number with a million zeros. (Yep knew this already)

27. Switching letters is called spoonerism. For example, saying jag of Flapan, instead of flag of Japan. (I wanna be a spoonerist!! Ct's Iool!! =D)

28. It cost 7 million dollars to build the Titanic and 200 million to make a film about it. (DAMN FUNNY)

29. The attachment of the human skin to muscles is what causes dimples. (This suddenly made dimples a lot less cute..)

30. There are 1,792 steps to the top of the Eiffel Tower. (ULTIMATE STAIR CHALLENGE!!)

31. The sound you hear when you crack your knuckles is actually the sound of nitrogen gas bubbles bursting. (That's weird, you can hear gas bubbles bursting?)

32. Human hair and fingernails continue to grow after death. (Now I know why people wanna be cremated, they don't want to be the next undead monster..)

33. It takes about 20 seconds for a red blood cell to circle the whole body. (Said red bloody cell must have run a marathon in the time it took for me to type this statement..)

34. The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets. (I wonder why its called that though..)

35. Most soccer players run 7 miles in a game. (No wonder they're so damn fit, that's insane..)

36. The only part of the body that has no bloody supply is the cornea in the eye. It takes in oxygen directly from the air. (Again, GROSS)

37. Every day 200 million couples make love, 400,000 babies are born, and 140,000 people die. (Ahh, statistics, interesting idea though, does that mean that out of that 200 million, only 400,000 get pregnant?)

38. In most watch advertisements the time displayed on the watch is 10:10 because then the arms frame the brand of the watch (and make it look like it is smiling). (Gonna keep a lookout for the next watch advert!!)

39. Colgate faced big obstacle marketing toothpaste in Spanish speaking countries. Colgate translates into the command “go hang yourself.” (HAHAHAHA!!!)

40. The only 2 animals that can see behind itself without turning its head are the rabbit and the parrot. (That's extremely cool and extremely weird..)

41. Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair. (Where's the nearest chem lab? This is less painful than a IQ test!!)

42. The average person laughs 13 times a day. (I'm gonna start counting..)

43. Do you know the names of the three wise monkeys? They are:Mizaru(See no evil), Mikazaru(Hear no evil), and Mazaru(Speak no evil) (I rather call them The Monkeys, those names are hard to remember..)

44. Women blink nearly twice as much as men. (That's because we can't believe our eyes..)

45. German Shepherds bite humans more than any other breed of dog. (Ouch, and yet the police department uses them so much?)

46. Large kangaroos cover more than 30 feet with each jump. (Where can I get me a kangaroo? I want to borrow one for Standing Broad Jump!!)

47. Whips make a cracking sound because its tip moves faster than the speed of sound. (DOMINATRIX!!)

48. Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn. Suddenly the pigs, all two thousand of them, escaped through a broken fence and stampeded, trampling the two hapless protesters to death. (IRONY OF LIFE..)

49. If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle; if the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural cause. (This is so freaking cool and weird, symbolism much?)

50. The human heart creates enough pressure while pumping to squirt blood 30 feet!! (So those bloody puddles you see in movies are possible?)

Personality Types..

2009-12-31T16:01:00.003+08:00

Hey all, the Bintan post is still under construction.. But here's a little crazy something that I plucked off some random site somewhere.. I can't remember where.. lols..

1. Why did the chicken cross the road?

ESTJ - There are no pavements on this side of the road, so I ordered them to cross the road in the interest of their own safety.
ISTJ - The chickens crossed the road at exactly 3.30 pm, and took exactly 7 minutes and 45 seconds (measured from when the last chicken's rear feather left the edge of the concrete road).
ISFJ - It was God's will.
ESFJ - Oh poor thing they were going to be knocked down by a car, so I guided them across and even painted a route for them to follow and even stood by to make sure none of them left this designated route!

INTP - Theoretically, we cannot be sure that a chicken did even cross a road. How can we be certain?
INTJ - They probably think the grass is greener on the other side.
ENTJ - Because the chickens were messing up the plans for my highly efficient and productive farm on this side of the road, so I made them cross the road.
ENTP - Imagine if chickens keep crossing the road...this is an example of migration and climate change in action..speaking of which...

ESTP - Imagine if chickens keep crossing the road...free meat for me!
ESFP - Hahahaha oh yeah!
ISTP - Are their feathers stuck in my car's engine? Screw you.
ISFP - What beautiful chickens.

ENFJ - The chickens were fleeing from inhumane slaughterhouses on this side of the road. For the interests of humanity, we must stop these killing fields!
ENFP - Oh we can organize a welcome party for the chickens at the other side. Oh oh oh and we can interview them about their experiences...and oh oh we can....
INFP - The chickens did not feel valued, appreciated, and self-actualized on this side of the road.
INFJ - The chickens must have been feeling lonely, so if crossing the road makes him feel good, then that's all that matters. We must find out the root problem of their loneliness.

2. Different kinds of prayer

ISTJ: Lord, help me to relax about insignificant details beginning tomorrow at 11:41.23 a.m.

ISTP: Lord, help me to consider other people's feelings, even if most of them ARE hypersensitive.

ESTP: Lord, help me to take responsibility for my own actions, even though problems are usually NOT my fault.

ESTJ: Lord, help me to not try to RUN everything. But if you need some help, just ask.

ISFJ: Lord, help me to be more laid back and help me do it EXACTLY right.

ISFP: Lord, help me to stand up for my rights (if you don't mind my asking).

ESFP: Lord, help me to take things more seriously, especially parties and dancing.

ESFJ: Lord, give me patience, and I mean RIGHT NOW.

INFJ: Lord, help me not be a perfectionist. (Did I spell that correctly?)

INFP: Lord, help me to be more morally pure.

ENFP: Lord, help me to keep my mind on one th- Look a bird! -ing at a time.

ENFJ: Lord, help me to do only what I can, trusting you for all the rest. But would you mind putting that in writing?

INTJ: Lord, keep me open to others' ideas, WRONG though they may be.

INTP: Lord, help me be less independent, just let me do it my way.

ENTP: Lord, help me follow established procedures today. On second thought, I'll settle for a few minutes.

ENTJ: Lord, help me slow downandnotrushthroughwhatIdo.

Hope you all liked this, ENJOY and HAPPY NEW YEAR!! =))

Jack Of All Trades

2009-12-26T21:40:00.004+08:00

So I've been writing lyrics and recently turned to writing stories to express myself. What next really? I'm not too sure myself.. Anyway, simply wanted to post "Walk This Line" here.. As for my stories, well, when I feel ready to share, I will..

I can’t deny this feeling, it’s taking over me

I can’t accept that you and me is only in my dreams

I can’t leave and start again somewhere new

I can’t if it’s at a place where there’s no you

It hurts so bad, you’re so divine

But never will you be mine

Never will I know what it feels like

To be held by you for the rest of my life

I can’t walk this line between laughter and tears

Between eternal hope and never-ending fears

I can’t touch the sky if you’re not there to lift me up

If you’re not there to make me so high

I know that if you leave, I can’t make you stay

I know that you are not naïve, I know that you would say

That it doesn’t matter in the end

Because all you wanted to be was my friend

Slowly your words are killing me deep inside

But I continue to fake a smile

I try to ignore that I’ll be without you

I try to ignore that I am so blue

I can’t walk this line between laughter and tears

Between eternal hope and never-ending fears

I can’t touch the sky if you’re not there to lift me up

If you’re not there to make me so high

I can’t deny this feeling, it’s taking over me

I can’t accept that you and me is only in my dreams

I can’t leave and start again somewhere new

I can’t if it’s at a place where there’s no you

I can’t walk this line between laughter and tears

Between eternal hope and never-ending fears

I can’t touch the sky if you’re not there to lift me up

If you’re not there to make me so high

The only thing I ever really wanted to do

Was take you someplace, and never let go of you

Tis' The Season

2009-12-25T23:28:00.002+08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

My Birthday

2009-12-18T23:23:00.003+08:00

This post goes out to me, seeing as its my birthday, and to someone else (you know who you are).

Thanks to all who have reaffirmed their love for me (even when I don't deserve it), those who have tagged my wall and all those who just remember that its my birthday. I love you guys! =)

This one's for you:

I'm stuffed.

What Can I Do?

2009-12-15T18:43:00.004+08:00

I decided long ago, never to walk in anyone's shadows
If I fail, if I succeed
At least I live as I believe
No matter what they take from me
They can't take away my dignity

All I wanna do, is be there with you. Sitting in a sanctuary, sorting out everything. But that's never gonna happen is it? Unless I open up my heart, and trust that you won't break it.

symbolic colours

=)

2009-12-15T00:31:00.004+08:00

I feel guilty for not posting this past few days, but I promise a post within the week maybe? Or perhaps when I get my Bintan photos. =D

Other than that, just to give you a quick update, Bintan was amazing, I had fun, got exhausted through the weirdest ways possible (don't go there), met cool people and I can't wait for the photos. =D

Oh and I've been doing some reflecting recently, didja know that hammocks are great places to reflect? And I'll tell you some of the things I've gleaned in the next update or so.

Thanks for sticking with me and see y'all soon! =)

Crawl

2009-12-03T19:37:00.003+08:00

It's official, now I just need to come to terms with it.

Damn I need to talk to someone, woman, stop dao-ing me please.

Trying

2009-12-01T22:56:00.002+08:00

When the world says "Give Up."

Hope whispers "Try it one more time"

Delusional

2009-11-30T21:16:00.003+08:00

You know what? It has to be stress. Nothing else. Been stressed with responsibility. Or maybe I'm just trying to find an excuse for my behavior.

Ah whatever,I need to stop second guessing myself. For now at least. I put today's ridiculous behavior down to stress and I'm sorry for it. Hopefully tomorrow will be a brand new day and I'll get better sleep. Mikkel kicking me off the bed does not good sleep make.

Please please please for goodness's sake return my email or call me. This wine thingy needs to be settled!!! >_<

ARGH

2009-11-30T15:17:00.003+08:00

I'm royally messing things up and I don't know why I'm acting this way. Must be PMS or hormones or whatever. Stress? I have no clue. Anyway, I just want you to know that the bottom line behind everything I do is that I care.

I realise I have a very weird way of showing it. Seriously. Ask anyone I've ever helped before. I do it in weird ways and yes my controlling tendencies tend to come across especially strong in this respect. That's why almost every CIP project I do requires me to be in the lead in some way. Ask Wei An. I'm sure if she thinks about it she understands perfectly what I'm saying.

I'm sorry you have such a weirdo for a friend. I'm sorry I'm totally rubbing you the wrong way. I'm gonna try and take a backseat, to relinquish that control. Then again, I was never really in control right from the beginning. All I ask is that you forgive me for the past week, for the past year. For everything dumb thing I've ever said or done.

It's not easy for me to do this, this giving up of control. It's bloody scary. And I have no idea what the end result will be.

Please. Forgive me.

Rollercoaster

2009-11-29T16:56:00.004+08:00

I realised and was told by someone that I've been doing a helluva lot of emo posts lately. There's a good and bad side to this alright? Just read on and give me a chance to tell you why its good. As to why its bad, its kindof obvious. Happy, crazy, nutso Nicole being emo? Definitely bad.

I'm an Alpha. Have I ever told you that? I have this need to be in charge, to be in control of whatever is going on in my life. Yes, I'm an controlling, stubborn Alpha bitch. =) Most of you know about that drama I was watching a while back.. Yes, the L drama.. lols. Anyway, I really really identify with one of the characters on the show, played by Jennifer Beals (OMG SHE'S REALLY GORGEOUS!!) This character, Bette, is also an Alpha. She has an insane need to control everything around her, thinking that that's the way she can make sure everything is alright. She feels she has a need to be strong for the people around her, she is not allowed to show any weakness or to mess up in any way. If not, people will no longer admire or respect her. By controlling everything around her, she is able to ensure everything is perfect. If she screws up in any way, people will no longer think she is perfect and that's the only thing she knows how to do.

She's afraid to show her emotions, preferring to control those as well, locking them up inside her. As a result, whenever she is angry or depressed, she still keeps those emotions inside, and they eat away at her, chipping her away until she's empty inside. This in turn slowly destroys all the relationships around her because no one can penetrate her emotional walls, and its only a matter of time before those emotions break free.

Alright, so maybe I'm not that extreme, but I definitely identify really well with Bette. It's a good thing that I'm sharing my emotions and emoness on my blog then, because this means I'm not keeping it all inside me. Yeah I'm not getting chipped away, hooray! =D Through this method, I'm exorcising my demons.. =) But I've got plenty more to exorcise, so hang in there with me folks!

I love you guys, and stay with me only if you're sure you can handle this ride. Trust me, it has a thrill factor of 9.9/10! Loop de loops, sudden drops, reverse action, steep climbs anything you could ever ask for if you were a thrillseeker with a death wish haha.. =D

BOARDING STARTS NOW! =)

怕黑

2009-11-24T16:42:00.003+08:00

Why do I like surrounding myself with situations that constantly leave me in doubt? Do I like questioning myself so much? I seem to land myself in situations where I have to constantly question what the heck I'm doing, what my intentions are and why the heck I'm still forging ahead despite the circumstances. In so many of these situations, the other person keeps me guessing, I never know where I stand or what my role is, I never know what the heck I'm supposed to be doing, or should have done instead.

Do I genuinely find it thrilling that I'm kept guessing? Even though I'm freaked out half the time trying to guess correctly, scared to death of the consequences of getting it wrong? Why don't I want to find a stable environment? Or am I afraid I'll get bored? Am I such a thrill junkie that I need to find excitement in my life, not caring about the consequences at all? I know perfectly well that some of these situations gone wrong could totally damage my self esteem, crush me entirely, but yet I still continue? Heck, just having to guess constantly is killing my self-confidence.

Then again, I ask myself "What self-confidence?" Isn't everything just a facade? I mean, who's the one shaking so damn badly inside while still looking confident on the outside? I was in a stable situation 3 years ago, and when that crumbled, I was badly crushed. I was so messed up as a result. I let myself get too comfortable, and I swore to never let that happen to me again. Is that why I rather stay in volatile situations? Once bitten, twice shy?

It's at times like this that I realise why I surround myself with people, because when I'm alone, I start to think. I start to look inside myself and see all of my flaws. Every single freaking one of them. And I'm scared, I'm scared to death that the facade I've built will come tumbling down and that I'm secretly a modern Humpty Dumpty. That not even Obama and his whole team of advisers can put me back together again. When I'm alone, my mind wanders. Sometimes its good, sometimes its bad.

I really need to exorcise these demons someday. For now, I'm gonna keep up my charade for as long as I can. It's the only thing I know how to do and I'm worried sick that I won't even be good at doing it. When I think about it, I'm just like Richard the Third, except that the only person I backstab and double cross is myself. Heh. I think I'm gonna be in therapy for a long long time when I'm older..

我开始想念
也开始怕黑
有你在身边
不曾停过电
我开始后悔
也开始心碎
跺在这棉被
偷偷掉着泪

Reconnecting..

2009-11-19T20:42:00.002+08:00

I seem to be bumping into loads of people who I haven't seen in a long time, like seriously, either everyone is free enough to go out or I'm actually making an appearance in the world at the right times now. The funny thing is, some of these people are people that I least expected to see in these areas!! Dunno, then again, Singapore is very small, so I guess its alright for them to be in this area and go to work/school on the other end of the island... lols.

So, let's start with person 1: Kenneth Ler. Oh gosh, this was the ultimate weirdest. I met him TWICE in two days. Like what are the chances. To quote Alice from the drama series The L Word, "What the frick-n-frack?!" Ok, let me introduce Kenneth first. I first met him last year at RMUN, he was in my council, he's from HCI and is a very nice sciencey guy. =) Anyway... I was going over to my grandparents' house to visit my grandfather, HE'S HOME!! yeah, and so as we pulled into the house, a taxi was outside and its passengers were alighting. At the time, I thought to myself "weird, how come the people inside are going inside my grandparents' house also... and wait, doesn't that guy in the black tee look familiar?" Anyway, I grab the stuff that we needed out of the boot and walk into the house. And think to myself "HOLY CRAP ITS KENNETH!!!" So, me being me, I obviously say hi to my grandfather first before saying hi to Kenneth. I think he also majorly freaked out. Lols. Basically, to cut a long story short, that afternoon was AWKWARD TTM and I'm sure he would agree. hahaha..

Alright, then the next day, which was Tuesday, I was at Chinese Swimming Club waiting for Mikkel to end his table tennis lesson. And guess who I happen to catch a glimpse of.. At least I thought it was him. lols. So, to confirm, I smsed him and asked whether by any freak chance he happened to be at the club. I mean, he goes to HCI!! Shouldn't he stay nearer there?? sighs. So, yes it turns out it was him. My friends are calling it fate, I say its just the fact that the East is too small.. But him at my grandparents' house was really amazingly unbelievable. What are the chances?? O.O

Person No. 2: Lai E-Von/Mrs Lee. hahaha.. My Sec 1 and 2 History teacher. She was and probably still is a darn good teacher, if she stayed on in DHS, I would have chosen to take History.. That's how much I enjoyed her lessons!! hahaha.. =D Meeting her wasn't that much of an awkward situation, given that I spoke to her for like 5 minutes max... In the doorway of the toilet at Parkway. Right. Ok. So maybe the place was a bit awkward but hahaha, I kindof missed her as a teacher. Wait, Nicole, slow down. Explain how you met her first!! lols. I was at Parkway for dinner with my mom and Mik, and we were walking from the carpark into the shopping centre. As I was walking, I was thinking to myself that the couple in front ah, the lady looks very familiar leh. But I figure I'm only looking at her back view and due to my hyperactive imagination, its not fair for me to judge.. lols. Turns out it was her. hahaha.. Mrs Lee if you're reading this you want to know how I know it was you?? Well, you still walk the same way, you still carry yourself really well!! You always had this incredibly sassy walk, hahahaha.. Dunno how else to explain it, but the way you walk and the way you dress, it just screams YOU lor!! lols. It was great to see you again!! =))

And thats all for the meetings so far, 3 days in a row. Well, I am meeting a long lost person tmr too, but tmr's meeting is planned!! ALICIA HO I LOVE YOU AND WHY ARE YOU DAO-ING ME ON MSN?? hahahaha.. =D ANYWAY, I'M SEEING YOU TMR!!! WOOTS!! =)))))

Size Zero

2009-11-16T11:37:00.004+08:00

Hey all, this is a new song that I cooked up, what with PW and all that's been going on, was just inspired to tackle one of the latest problems in society.. lawls. Anyway, will be posting it here and on Facebook, hopefully you guys like it.. =D

1st verse

This ain't no Mika song

I'm just trying to hit that gong

To wake all of you up

To show you just what's stuck

In your mind

You hate the sight of big behinds

In your mind

You hate jiggling cellulite

In your mind

Fat makes you wish you were blind

Chorus

Hey why are you so into size zero?

Don't you know

Life ain't about that

It's alright to have a little fat

Why is perfect size zero?

Are we really that shallow?

Life isn't perfect, we all know that

So what's wrong with a little fat?

2nd verse

Yup this ain't no Mika song

Just pointing out what's wrong

This mindset has got girls out there

Thinking that size zero is all they should wear

They're trying to look like Victoria Beckham

Dieting, puking to get that size zero waist

When they fail, they in a depression

It's their lives that's going to waste

Chorus

Hey why you into size zero?

Don't you know

Life's more than that

It's alright to be fat

Perfect don't mean size zero

Let's all not be that shallow

In life we only get one chance at bat

Why focus on not getting fat?

Bridge

Thin doesn't equal beauty

There ain't nothing wrong with some booty

Just take a look at Beyonce

I think you get what I'm trying to say.

Chorus

Hey why you into size zero?

Don't you know

Life's so much more than that

It's perfectly fine to be fat

Perfect don't mean size zero

Just look at gals like J Lo

I'll even suggest Mariah Carey

Girls believe me, what counts is inner beauty

Well, I think this one is quite good, or maybe that's just my ego.. hahaha.. Lemme know what y'll think.. And I hope the message is clear enough!! *hint hint* hahaha.. =D

At the Beginning

2009-11-12T21:30:00.003+08:00

Inspiration struck again today. Nat Nah if you're reading this, don't think so far ok? lols. Anyway, just a little something I cooked up. =)

Hey babe,

This might be a 'lil late.

But I'm here to say,

Just do things your own way.

Circumstances cramp your style,

Detour you just a little while.

I know you'll bounce back,

I'm counting on that.

You know those re-exams?

Beat them, WHAM BAM!

ha! They won't know what hit them.

Trust me, I'm your ham friend!

Circumstances cramp your style,

Detour you just a little while.

I know you'll bounce back,

I'm counting on that.

I know you're tough,

But the going is rough, is it enough?

Don't worry, I'll be by your side,

Every single step of this crazy ride.

Don't let things knock you down,

I refuse to let you drown.

You better make it, I can't bear to part,

Damn, it might just break my heart.

I think the person in question knows who this is directed to, so yeah, love ya babe =) Good luck and I'll be there studying with you, supporting you, stopping you from suicide. Hope you liked it and I genuinely mean what I composed up there =)

Life is road and I wanna keep going,

Love is a river I wanna keep flowing.

I'll be there when the world stops turning,

I'll be there when the storm is through.

In the end, I wanna be standing at the beginning

WITH YOU =)

Automatic/So dramatic

2009-11-11T20:06:00.002+08:00

E.N.F.P.

Those 4 letters that describe my personality to a tee. Really they do. The report that explains this MBTI personality type of mine was highly accurate.. But I suppose I'm human too, and I have my faults, that cannot be perfectly captured in a paper report.

I was just re-reading this msn convo between me and my senior the other day. And it further reinforced my knowledge of my imperfections. But heck, I'm always revealing my imperfections to people. hahaha.

The report said that I was extroverted, which I do not deny. The report also said that I was intuitive, that I went with my gut feelings. I cannot refute that. But both qualities simply serve to make me seem too pushy and naggy at times. Domineering as well. Sometimes I come on way too strong, in some cases it works, in some cases it backfires so horribly. But I find that being domineering serves several purposes, for one, it allows me to just push past everything that I don't wish to confront. Secondly, and very horribly so, it allows me to feel important when I get my way, thereby stroking my ego. Heh. So I'm a bossy, egoistical escapist. WOW.

Anyway, I think during that convo, that was the first time I ever admitted to someone that I'm not the confident heck-it-all person that I try to be and neither was I the person with the laissez-faire bochup attitude that I seem to exude to people. Yup, I admitted that I'm simply human (hooray I'm not alien), with loads of baggage to boot. I'm an insecure asshole who really just needs a boost of self-confidence now and then.

I thought I made friends fairly easily, still do now actually. But when I met her, that was the first time I was totally unsure of my status, was I a friend or just a junior? In fact, my exact words to her was "I wasn't sure at the time whether I was an irritating friend to you or just an irritating junior". At least I acknowledged that I was irritating. That's good. Well, I think now, I can be safely considered her friend, even though it may not seem that way. But her response "actually, I'm sorry to say this, but you were just a junior to me at the time" only served to open up old wounds. Naturally, I'll survive and move on, I have sufficiently thick skin for that. But this is just the superficial layer of my various insecurities.

But that's what defences are for, my humour (albeit a bad one), my ego, my "confidence", my "thick skin", my constant goading etc. So I'm sorry if my defenses have kept you out or hurt you in any way, I really have no bad intentions, I'm just protecting myself, in the only way I know how.

Let's play truth or dare,

"Dare", because I don't care.

"Truth", because it's time to bare.

FOR THE WOMAN

2009-11-08T21:28:00.002+08:00

As you can see from the title, I'm blogging for a certain person. hahaha.. She's gonna kill me for this. =D But anyway, since she's not on facebook, I'll post my lyrics here, for those who are on facebook, please be patient, I promise I'll post something else later! =))

Oh there she goes,
I’m sure she knows
How she captures me.

The sway of her hips,
The curve of her lips,
When she flashes that smile,
Every man stops for a while.

But I know her best,
This is just a test.
Only I know her desires,
What gets her on fire,
All these men just try,
I look and I sigh.

The sway of her hips,
The curve of her lips,
When she flashes that smile,
Every man stops for a while.

But oh! Their wasted intentions,
Cos’ HA! She’s a lesbian.
Only I know,
And I intend to bestow
The greatest pleasure on her tonight!!
Yeah, (laughs) that’s right

Woman you chose this particular one!!

Food For Thought

2009-11-03T20:08:00.003+08:00

I was just thinking the other day (and yes I do think.. despite evidence to the contrary..)

The human race is in a cycle of self-destruction. We're thinking in polarities. We're thinking in labels.. Stuff like --------------------->

good or bad, white or black, happy or sad,

man or woman, straight or gay, young or old.

It's too simple. It's too general. And besides, many of these labels/polarities are in opposition. You know what I think? I think that

good+bad+white+black+happy+sad+man+woman+straight+gay+young+old

= HUMAN

And I think that my Maths teachers, past or present, would find no problems with that equation whatsoever. In fact, they should be mighty proud that I figured this out. Heh. =D

Home is where the heart is.

2009-10-31T15:49:00.000+08:00

He's home.

Flying Away....

2009-10-27T20:11:00.002+08:00

We're standing on the edge of something

Do we stay or do we run

It's obvious that everything's changed

My head can't seem to figure out

Why my heart is full of doubt

Maybe we're just tired of the game

Guess you never know what's gonna happen

So you do the best you can

Following your soul might bring you back

Or it may have another plan

Please don't let it fly away, high away

Gotta keep it together

Feel for the flow

Don't fly away, high away

Please don't

No don't, don't let it fly away

We've never felt this place before

Wondering if anymore

We can find in us what it takes

It's not about who's to blame

I pray that they're just growing pains

Laughing while they're testing our faith

'Cause you never know what's gonna happen

So you do the best you can

Following our souls might bring us back

Unless it has another plan

Please don't let it fly away, high away

Gotta keep it together

Feel for the flow

Don't fly away, high away

Please don't

No don't, don't let it fly away

It's yes, it's no

We stay, we go

Feels like we're questioning everything, yeah

We run, we fall, but through it all (through it all)

We never thought we would break

Please don't let it fly away, high away

Gotta keep it together

Feel for the flow

Don't fly away, high away

Please don't

No don't, don't let it fly away

Please don't let it fly away, high away

Gotta keep it together

Feel for the flow

Don't fly away, high away

Please don't

No don't, don't let it fly away

The woman asked me today what I would do if she was retained. I've searched deep inside myself, and you know what. I don't have an answer. I really don't know what I WOULD do. All I can pray is that you make it through. I'll be rooting for you and I know I'm not the right person for it, but if you need a study buddy, hammie's willing to do it =)

P.S. Hope you like the song. hahaha.. =D

Coping....

2009-10-17T16:54:00.002+08:00

Am I really the Joker? Or just a poor imitation. A mere clown.

I really don't know, but humour (bad or not) is my way of coping with things. Laughing it off. Didn't some expert dude once say that "Laughter is the best medicine"? Well I subscribe to that. And I'm sorry if some of you people out there can't appreciate it and are irritated by it. It's just my way of dealing with things. So deal with that in whatever way it is you use.

Someone just told me the other day that I'm one of the most positive people she's ever seen. Well, I thank her for that. But I guess there's a downside to that. The grass is always greener on the other side huh? I sometimes wish I could act DAO and just stop being so bloody positive all the time. It gets hard sometimes you know? Like when I know that sometimes I just wanna emo and be alone, with all my thoughts. And yet the minute I just start being a little less positive, people start going"Nicole, are you alright? You're not talking.. Are you sure you're alright?". I thank you for your concern. But sometimes, I wish I could just scream:"DAMN IT LAH. WILL YOU JUST SHUT UP AND LET ME EMO?" No one can be that bloody positive all the time. I'm entitled to my emo moments/moping time as Yuesing calls it. So next time you see me being not so positive, think twice. When I need help, trust me I'll ask for it. heh. Only truly brave people like the woman will probably ask me. lols.

Just to end off, wasn't that supposed to be MY sobfest?

P.S. Maybe I should just be positive about it and say that that slightly less than 2 hours of drama helped me. Heh.

Bleeding Love

2009-10-16T11:24:00.006+08:00

But all I know is that I'm missing you

I don't care bout nothing else but you

I'm like 2 steps (2 steps from losing it)

One more step I disconnect
Feel like I might as well be dead
No I really don't think I'll make it without you

Damn I miss him so much, and he's still here. Imagine when he's gone. Please never let that happen. And if and when he does goes, let him be happy. It's hard to find time to see him, what with school and stupid PW and visiting hours/various other rules. And when I do, I'm speechless, dumbstruck. I have no words to say, every time I see him I cannot express myself. So I content with just sitting next to him. I wanna tell him how much I love him, how much I appreciate him for all that he has done. How he was the best guy ever. Soon. While he's still lucid.

It hurts so so much. And I can't stop it. Just me and my bleeding love. Fighting a very personal war.

Halo?

2009-10-13T23:36:00.003+08:00

Remember those walls we built?

Well, baby they're crashing down.

And they didn't even make a sound.

That box/mental walls I built in order to lock down my emotions for promos has well, crashed down. In other words, my emotions are having a field day. They're in havoc, mucking around and generally having Joker-esque fun. Which leads to my crying everyday. In the shower. Heh. So technically there is no sound.

Is it good or bad that it's finally out? I really dunno, you can never tell with the Joker.

In any case? Thanks Beyonce.

Housemates FB note =D

2009-10-08T21:30:00.001+08:00

Choose 5 friends and number them 1-5 randomly (you being number 3)
HAHA(:
1 Alicia
2 Christine
3 Myself?
4 Wai Sing
5 Woman

All 5 people move into the same house…

Who calls a bedroom first?
We can afford a bedroom?! Nah, just kidding, erm. Alicia? she's the oldest =D

Who goes straight to the bathroom to check their make-up?
Alicia =D Only one who would probably put on make-up and maybe Wai Sing also.. =D

Which person goes to the kitchen first?
Me. DUH.

You find out that friend’s number 4 and 5 are in the shower together. Do you care? And what do you do?
Wai Sing and Woman?! wow. Interesting. VERY INTERESTING!! I will film them and put on Youtube.. =D

Which person has to sleep in the attic?
Woman. Cos' we'll force her there.

One room is a pink baby room, who wants that room?
Not me. Alicia's fave colour is green. Not Wai Sing. Not Woman (I think). Therefore, Christine. =))

Who puts up so many posters that you can’t see the wall?
Me. =D

House Party…

Who decided to throw a party?
ME!!

Who hides in their room while it’s going on?
Wai Sing! =D hahaha, watching videos.. =D

Who ends up making/buying all the food?
Woman, but she's NOT making it.

Who starts a giant game of truth or dare?
Woman

You find friend number 2 making out with the person you like, what do you do?
Erm.. no way!! Christine is not the kind!! If it really happens, I'll assume she's drunk. And forgive her. =))

The Police show up, and friend number 5 called them… are you mad?
Alicia?! That's unusual, I think I would be worried, Alicia not really the type. I think. =D

You go to your room to sleep thinking everyone was kicked out, but you find some people you don’t know in your bed, now what?
Scream the living hell out of them to scram my room.

Parents… (The day after your crazy party the parents of you and your friends pay a visit)

Who is grounded first?
Depends, how long does everyone take to comprehend Wai Sing's mom's chinese?? Probably me. I think it's a close fight, very close.

Who’s parents congratulate them?
NONE!

Who is forced to move out for a bit?
Everyone. hah. Except Alicia, since she's legal already.. =D

Who’s parents don’t care?
no idea. definitely not mine.

Who blames it on everyone else?
Me also.. =X hahaha.. joking!!

Back at the house…

Friend number 1 borrowed your Pj’s without asking, is that ok?
she can fit? WAIT. I have pjs?

Friend number 4 is blasting music, do you join him/her or shut it off?
JOIN!! Wai Sing has great music taste! We, we,we, we da LEADERS!! =D

You have an exam tomorrow and friends number 1, 2, and 4 are being very loud, what do you do?
lols. JOIN IN LAH!! DUH!!

Friend number 1 is hogging the bathroom all morning…
Hmm.. I'm assuming we have more than one bathroom. Go the other bathroom lah!! Or go next door, knock on that cute guy's door and ask to use the toilet. =D

Its April fools and someone toke all your clothes and hid them, you have school in an hour, what do you do?
Borrow woman's.. =D

Friend number 5 lost her cell phone… again!
Woman. Fairly typical =D

You bought a really cute shirt!! What do you do with it?
Wear it. Very often. hahaha.. =D

Friend number 2 bought a dog for the house without telling anyone…
=O Christine would do that? But nevermind, I thinks we're all Doggie people.. =))

This is retarded. Imagine us all as housemates. =D Alicia would have 4 underage people with her!! hahaha.. =D

He'll be fine.

2009-10-07T22:37:00.003+08:00

Got the news today
Doctors said he had to stay
A little bit longer then he might be fine
No that bug cannot have won
I'm using that old line
A little bit longer and he'll be fine.
But you don't know what you got 'til it's gone
And you don't know what it's like to feel so low
And everytime I see you laugh, I know (that)
You don't even know, know, know.
You don't even know

Couple of weeks ago
The doctors had diagnosed
A little bit longer, it's the end of his life.
Waitin' on a cure
But none of them are sure
A little bit longer and he might be fine
But you don't know what you got 'til it's gone
You don't know what its like to feel so low.
And everytime I try to smile, laugh and glow
You don't even know, know, know.
You don't even know, know, know.
You don't even know, no

And you don't know what you got 'til it's gone.
Don't know what it's like to feel so low, yeah..
And everytime you smile you laugh you glow,
You don't even know! yeah.. woah..

So I'll wait 'til kingdom come.
All the highs are so gone.
A little bit longer and I think I'll be fine.
I'll be...fine

Adapted from JB lyrics.

I seriously need to stop crying in the shower.

T_T

2009-10-06T20:17:00.002+08:00

I can't deal with this right now. Not now, wait til I've come to terms with it and am ready to let go. Please?

Damn I need to 发泄 but dunno how. I'm not ready for this kind of closure. I can't take it. You cannot, I repeat you cannot go now. I know this is darn selfish of me and that you're in pain, but I still need you.

10 question quizzes.. damn fun to do!! Now this one I want woman to do.. =D

2009-10-06T19:20:00.001+08:00

http://mct421.deviantart.com/art/Question-Meme-Generator-69266481

1. Amanda Leong and Ryan Tay are forced to roleplay out a verbal couple fight. Who gets to play the wife?
Amanda, hell firstly cos' she's female. lols. And because Ryan is too much of a guy.. =D

2. Would you love to read Chien Yuesing's very personal diary?
Only if she can guarantee it won't give me nightmares for the rest of my life. Wait, she has a diary?!

3. Describe Merule Noorazmi in five words.
hahahaha. Nice, Funny, Food-lover! Sporty, Smart! =))

4. Describe Moses Lim in five words.
See above! hahaha, ok, shall do this properly. Chinese-Bruneian, Funny, Photographer, Smart and Nice =D

5. What's your fondest memory of Jodie Yeo?
When she agreed with me that Zachary looked like Patrick Starfish =D Or when we were randomly talking about our sexploits.. =D

6. Who would win in a duel, Alicia Ho or Moses Lim? And what kind of duel would they pick, anyway?
Darn, both are so nice. If you ask me, if they pick a best photo duel, Moses would win. If they picked a who's-more-good-looking duel, Alicia would win. =D Not that Moses is ugly or anything, just that I'm biased.. =D

7. Do you miss Gaille Teo?
Hell yeah! We need to meet up woman!! Haven't seen you since last year, unless looking at you on the VJC poster counts!!! hahaha.. XD

8. Do you do anything special with Ryan Tay?
first of all, this is one weird question. secondly, no I don't. Unless you count going for holidays almost every year together, playing stupid games together, getting thrashed in card games and taking crazy rollercoasters together. hahahaha.. =D

9. What if you found out that Ng Bing Geng was secretly an alien plotting to take over the world together with Tai Der Hui?
Bing Geng as an alien not so surprising. Taking over the world is more Zhi Ming's style anyway. And Der Hui working with Bing Geng to take over the world? Now that's shocking lol.

10. What's Ryan Tay's opinion on cheese?
Don't get him started please!!! He can give you probably a week's lecture/thesis on why the heck cheese is so good, and what you should cook it with, what cheese brings out the flavour in what foods and where to find the best cheese. Gosh. =D

Alright, that's all, I find these notes the most fun, and the quickest to do.. =D

Cloudy with a chance of blog posts..

2009-10-06T19:10:00.001+08:00

1. Wai Sing
2. Amanda Leong
3. Alicia Ho
4. Ashley Tay
5. Ryan Tay
6. Nat Nah
7. Liu Wei An
8. Elaine Mah
9. Koh Cui Ting
10. Elizabeth Nicole Cutter
11. Lim Si Hui
12. Samantha Goh
13. Louise Ho Xin Qian
14. Annabel Koh
15. Crystal Westwick
16. Douglas Lavigne
17. Megan Ho
18. Clara Li
19. Rebecca Oh
20. Gaille Teo
21. Ng Wan Qing
22. Gloria Blaque Starr
23. Jodie Yeo
24. Jessalyn Chan
25. Tai Der Hui
26. Grace Ho
27. Merule Noorazmi
28. Moses Lim
29. Christine Tan Chuqing
30. Grace Bok

How did you meet 10(Elizabeth Nicole Cutter)?
I frankly have no freaking recollection. But I suspect it had to do with the Obs course and Track. Right?

What would you do if you had never met 6(Nat Nah)?
I wouldn't have someone to crap with and to verbally spar with.. hahaha..

What would you do if 15 and 20 dated(Crystal and Gaille)?
I would majorly freak out because both are as of today, still highly heterosexual. I think. =D

If you could marry either 6 or 14, who would you choose(Nat Nah or Annabel)?
Hmm.. This is a toughie. Oh gosh. I think I would choose Annabel?! We can psycho each other.. hahaha..

Did you ever like 9(Koh Cui Ting)?
As a friend. YES =))

Have you ever seen 4 cry(Ashley Tay)?
Ehh.. does when she was 5 years old or so count?? hahaha.. =D

Would 4 and 12 make a good couple(Ashley Tay and Samantha Goh)?
NO WAY. I FORBID IT!!

Would number 1 and 2 make a good couple(Wai Sing and Amanda Leong)?
hahahaha.. I don't think they themselves would approve.. Wai Sing would die of too much stress first.. hahaha....

Describe 8(Elaine Mah).
Blurly OCD. =D

Do you like 18(Clara Li)?
hmm.. My Auntie who is a potential source of CNY income, YES I DO.. =)))

Tell me something about 17(Megan Ho)
Erm. Erm. She used (or maybe still is) to be scared of playing spooky role-play games.. =D

What's 7 favorite color(Liu Wei An)?
I realise that I don't know the answer to this. But I'm gonna hazard a guess and say blue? lols.

What would you do if 1 just confessed that he/she likes you(Wai Sing)?
I would ask her if she wants to migrate to the USA and get married.. hahaha.. just joking, honestly, I'm not surprised, I'm too likeable.. XD

When was the last time you talked to number 15(Crystal Westwick)?
Yesterday. hahaha, stupid youtubeing =D

How do you think 19 feels about you(Rebecca Oh)?
erm.. That I talk to much? That I'm super noisy? That I'm super evil? (for poking her?) hahaha..

What languages do 13 speak(Louise Ho)?
Chinese, English. I have no other what else, but I believe that she is multi-talented. =))

Who is 2 going out with(Amanda Leong)?
Samantha Goh. Unless they broke up liao. lols. Or I'm actually waiting for her to tell me.. =)

What grade is 16 in(Douglas Lavigne)?
erm. Sec 2? haha.

What is 5's favorite music(Ryan Tay)?
Hmm.. A while ago, like a long while ago. it was Bubbly by Colbie Caillat. lols.

Would you ever date 3(Alicia Ho)?
hahaha.. if she ever swore off guys? and if I ever swore off guys around the same time? Maybe we would give it a crazy try.. hahaha..

Is 11 single(Lim Si Hui)?
Erm. Erm. I have no clue but I'm gonna say yes because technically everyone is single till they get married. =))

What is 22's last name(Gloria Blaque Starr)?
Starr?? hahah.. nah.. It's Ngiam. =))

Would you ever want to be in a serious relationship with 7(Liu Wei An)?
KILL ME FIRST. I have no wish to do so. And I'm quite sure she doesn't either. (I hope.)

Where does 24 live(Jessalyn Chan)?
Well.. I actually have her EXACT address, but I can't say here, infringement of privacy mah..

What do you think about 20(Gaille Teo)?
Crazy, funky woman with a very very long name!! =))

What is the best thing about 4(Ashley Tay)?
Her art. hahaha.. ok no lah, she's got lots of good points.. =))

Is 21 hard-working(Ng Wan Qing)?
Erm, I'm sure that secretly deep down like all GEPs, she's a slacker. But she tries harder than the whole lot of us.. haha..

What would you like to tell 13 right now(Louise Ho)?
Erm. WE NEED TO DO PW!!! hahaha..

How did you meet 23(Jodie)?
hahahaha.. THE PITCH 2007 (its 2007 right?)

What is the best and worst thing about 5(Ryan Tay)?
Am I allowed to say this? Alright.. Worst: His digestive system. Best: His humour and card tricks. =))

Are you going to know 12 forever(Samantha Goh)?
For as long as it takes to make her laugh out loud, voluntarily, and if so, hopefully forever bah.. =))

How long have you known 26(Grace Ho)?
hmmm.. Since Sec 2, so that's erm. 4 years.. =))

Who is 24(Jessalyn Chan)?
A senior. Year 7. Very nice person. Fruit lover. Caring volunteer. Currently studying Pharmacy in uni. =))

Are you or did you ever date 28(Moses Lim)?
Hmm.. This is a weird question. Moses you answer yourself lah! hahaha.. but hahaha, haven't dated, we're just friends.

Do you have a crush on 27(Merule)?
Oh yeah totally. Especially when I saw him pick up that snake.. eeks!! hahahaha.. JOKING!!

Would you kiss 25(Der Hui)?
OK Now this is just plain weird. NO WE'RE JUST FRIENDS!!!!

Have you hugged/kissed 22(Gloria)?
Hmm.. not yet. As in hug lah.. hahaha..

Is 29 your BFF(Christine Tan)?
OMG wouldn't it be weird if we were.. She's my teacher lah!! lols.

What do you hate about 23(Jodie)?
It's impossible to hate her!! She's too nice!!

What's your relationship with 30(Grace Bok)?
Sigh, I wish we still had that teacher-student relationship. WHY!!! *sobs* T_T

alright just so you know, I used the top friends app, so it calculated my top friends for me. Who knows if it's true.. =P

Music-related!! =D For the MEP-ers =D

2009-10-06T18:32:00.001+08:00

No cheating!
Put your iTunes or whatever on shuffle and go down the line.
You'd be surprised.

-------------------------------------------------------
Opening Credit: Do You Know - Enrique Iglesias (Oh gosh, no one knows me??)

First memories: Like It Like That - Guy Sebastian (hmmm.. sounds wrong.. )

First Day of School: Poison Ivy - Jonas Brothers (hahahahaha.. this is sooo accurate..)

First Crush: Sneakernight - Vanessa Hudgens (hmm.. someone who appreciate me love of sneakers? or who wears sneakers?)

First Date: On The Wings Of Love - Spectacular! Cast (omg, my first date is on a airplane?)

First Kiss: A Dream Is A Wish - Disney Channel Circle Of Stars (=O)

The Con: Mad - Ne Yp (well technically if someone had conned me I would be mad too..)

Falling in Love: In This Life - Delta Goodrem (well, that's a relief. I think.)

First Love Scene: Irresistible - The Corrs (hmm.. him or me?)

The Breakup: It's Over - The Cheetah Girls (man this is uncanny)

Fight Scene: The Great Escape - Boys Like Girls (oh gosh, I'm always gonna be an escapist!!)

Getting back together: Give It To Me - Timbaland ft. Nelly Furtado and Justin Timberlake (=O We're gonna have make-up sex?!?!)

Secret Love: Obsessed - Mariah Carey (eeks, I'm obsessed with someone or that person obsessed with me?)

Missing a loved one: Let Go - Nick Lachey (oh gosh, fairly fitting, go listen to this song!!)

Getting your heart toyed with: So What - Pink (HELL YEAH, so what man!! I'm still a rock star!! haha!)

Waking Up: Insomnia - Craig David (erm.. I'm gonna be waking up at 3am in the morning or something?)

Bad Day: Goodbye Baby - Big Bang (uh oh. Doesn't bode well..)

Sleep/Going to bed: Tuo Diao - Alex To (erm.. I sleep naked?!)

Bitter: Hot 'N Cold - Katy Perry (well, yeah.. if the guy keeps sending mixed signals.. I would be bitter too!!)

Traveling music: Remember The Name - Fort Minor (erm, wherever I go, I'll be famous?)

Partying it up: Everyday - HSM2 (hahaha, oh yeah, my life is a party!!)

Regretting: World War III - Jonas Brothers (yeah, I'm regretting the fight with my bf)

Depression: I Did It For Love - BoA ft. Sean Garrett (I got depressed because of love? wow.)

Death of a loved one: Yi Qian Nian Yi Hou - Lin Jun Jie (I'll never get over it until 1000 years later? aww)

Breakdown: Welcome To My Life - Simple Plan (hahahahahaha..)

Learning from your mistakes: Keeps Getting Better - Christina Aguilera (hahaha.. yeah!! I'll keep improving!!)

Uplifting: Moments That Matter - Corbin Bleu (oh yeah, treasure the moments in life, those small things!!)

A long night alone: Year 3000 - Jonas Brothers (erm. this either means I'll be going time travelling or I'll only be alone on a night in the year 3000.. hahaha..)

Giving up: S.O.S. - Jonas Brothers (hahaha, yeah when I do give up, don't worry, I'll call for help!!)

Death: Bleeding Love - Leona Lewis (erm. I'll die of love too??)

Closing Credits: Live To Party - Jonas Brothers (alright, I get it. My life is one big party!!)

Title: Miracles Happen - Myra (hahaha.. yeah.. I need some on Thursday..)

20 minutes of my life wasted (continued notes posting for the woman)

2009-10-06T18:16:00.001+08:00

Rules:
Once you've been tagged, Fill this out IN YOUR OWN WORDS and repost as, "My Autobiography"
And use your own answers, not anyone else's.

1. [ Where did you take your profile pic? ]
SLA Spatial Challenge, at SMU. =))

2. [ What exactly are you wearing right now? ]
erm. shirt and pants? lols.. hahaha.. erm. 50th Anniversary Tee and shorts. =)

3. [ What is your current problem? ]
Loads of things. Sigh.

4. [ What makes you happy most? ]
Volunteering.. or is it being with my friends.. or is it Tigger? Damn too many to name..

5. [ What's the name of the song that you're listening to? ]
Faith of the Heart by Rod Stewart.. hahaha..

6. [ Any celeb you would marry? ]
Hugh Jackman!! or Nick Jonas *swoons* or then there's Sammul Chan, or Matthew Ko. Or heckl, there's Ellen!!

7. [ Name someone/persons with the same birthday as you. ]
Stalin. (really!!) Keith Richards, Steven Spielberg, Christina Aguilera, Katie Holmes and and and BRAD PITT!! =D

8. [ Ever sang in front of a large audience? ]
Nope. never want to. =D

9. [ Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity? ]
What?! that would be plain weird.hahaha..

10. [ Do you still watch kiddy movies or kiddie TV shows? ]
TOTALLY. DISNEY CHANNEL FTW!!! =D

11. [ Do you speak any other languages than English? ]
Chinese. Singlish. Hokkien/Cantonese.

12. [ Has anyone you've been really close to passed away? ]
Various family members really. And I hope I don't have to go through more at least in the near future.

13. [ Do you ever watch MTV? ]
hahaha.. Very often. =P

14. [ What's something that really annoys you? ]
People who volunteer for all the wrong reasons.

--------------------------

[[ Chapter 1 ]]

1. [ Middle name ]
hmm.. Don't have one.. LOLS.

2. [ Nickname(s) ]
Nicki, Nic, Ting, Tigger. lols at the last one. hahaha.. oh and Hamlight, Light Sister. =D

3. [ Current location ]
On my 2nd floor computer. =)

4. [ Eye color ]
Black. I think. hahahaha.

[[ Chapter 2 ]]

1. [ Do you get along with your parent(s) ]
Decently well I guess.

2. [ Are your parents married/separated/divorced? ]
Married.
(what a nice question though)

[[ Chapter 3: Favorites ]]

1. [ Ice Cream ]
Depends. But chocolate is a staple. Any type of chocolate. Especially belgian chocolate. No nuts at all though.. =))

2. [ Season ]
I'm a spring kindof person.. =)

3. [ Shampoo / conditioner ]
I actually have no preference.. as long as its safe to use.. hahaha..

4. [ Favorite Thing ]
Erm. erm. *runs to google to find definition of thing* alright. It's my tigger (the big one!!). =))

[[ Chapter 4: Do You... ]]

1. [ Dance in the shower? ]
I sing =X

2. [ Do you write on your hand? ]
Only once in a blue moon. Even then, the woman writes on my hand. hahaha.. lols.

3. [ Call people back? ]
I do. If I can be bothered.

4. [ Believe in God? ]
Nope. I'm not an atheist though. But I try to respect all religions as much as possible. Only thing I can't stand is people who are close-minded because of religion. Now THAT pisses me off.

5. [ Any bad habits? ]
WOW. Too many to name.

6. [ Any mental health issues? ]
heh. Even if I did I wouldn't tell you. =D Does short term memory count?? =D

[[ Chapter 5: Have You... ]]

1. [ Sprained stuff? ]
yes. hahaha. My ankle.. and I pulled my back before.. does that count?? lols.

2. [ Had physical therapy? ]
Hell yeah. MASS PE LESSONS!!! hahahaha..

3. [ Gotten stitches? ]
Yes, twice. at least. hahaha..

4. [ Taken painkillers? ]
Yes, sometimes ah. Tabuleh tahan lah,

5. [ Gone scuba diving or snorkeling? ]
Nope.

6. [ Thrown up at the dentist? ]
What? NOOO!!

7. [ Sworn in front of your parents? ]
ehhh.. I try to avoid it. Or at least do it under my breath. I think wth and wah lao is the worst I've done in front of them. Behind them or to the side I cannot say for sure.. hahaha..

8. [ Had detention? ]
Thank goodness never. Or at least, even if I had detention, I never went for it.. hahahahaha..=D

[[ Chapter 6: Who / What was the last ]]

1. [ Movie(s) ]
Ice Age 3.. hahaha.. with the lit kias.. oh but... I generally watch movies with Ryan and Ashley. lols.

2. [ Three people who texted you ]
I would think it was Li Wen, Annabel and erm. The Woman. right.. yeah.. something like that.

3. [ Person you called ]
Ysing.

4. [ Person you hugged ]
hmm.. Mikkel? hahaha..

5. [ Person you tackled? ]
Jerome.

6. [ Person you talked to on YM? ]
Jerome. retarded guy wanted to try it.

7. [ Thing you touched? ]
The computer mouse. lols.

8. [ Thing you ate? ]
Ice. lols.

9. [ Thing you drank? ]
Orange juice.

10. [ Thing you said? ]
What the heck?

11. [ Person you kissed ]
Also mikkel. lols.

13. [ Friend you saw ]
hmm.. Chan Li Wen, Jessalyn. and I wanna see Annabel!!!!

[[ NOW TAG 20 PEOPLE! AND GET THEM TO DO THE SAME. ]]

because the Woman refuses to join facebook.

2009-10-06T18:06:00.005+08:00

I am going to post some of my notes here, look at title. =D Also, because she refuses to believe that I will actually post them here FOR her. Does she not realise by now I am willing to do stupid things for my friends?? lols.

Follow the instructions below:

1.) Stalkerlist can be found here: http://apps.facebook.com/stalkercheck/

2.) Write the names of everyone on your stalkerlist below.

3.) DO NOT READ THE QUESTIONS BEFORE YOU PUT IN YOUR ANSWERS.

4.) Tag everyone you mentioned

1. Wai Sing (or Yuesing as she apparently dislikes to be known)
2. Amanda (OCD ah)
3. Xunlin as Linux (Go figure)
4. Elizabeth Teo (aka My GP Teacher.....)
5. Leon Lau (My very cute GYF Facil.. who incidentally has big feet...)
6. Alicia Ho (my beloved Da Jie.. =D)
7. Hanis Nazry (CRAZY WOMAN!!)
8. Jodie Yeo (ahhh, my fellow volunteer!)
9. Tang Yiling (whoa, lit buddy =))
10. Adeline Ong Cm (eek, my mom)
11. Tiara Lim (ANOTHER CRAZY WOMAN)
12. Huiling Phang (nice arty farty person =))
13. Hexun Chua (nice GEP senior!! Cool guy)
14. Zhen Zhou (erm. the guy in the class next door?)
15. Chew Tze Lin (SUPER CRAZY SUPER COOL SUPER CHIO WOMAN!!)
16. Annabel Koh (OMG THE NICEST YEAR 7 I'VE MET, only cos she inspired me first =)))
17. Samantha Goh (evil stare haughty stare)
18. Chua Si Min (hahaha, the person who I apparently stalk as well!!)
19. Preena Ari (My facil for YVIP 06, one of the first few people who truly got my passion going =))
20. Kevin Yap (Fellow GEP-er back in Tao Nan)

* Are you honestly surprised about any of these?
Totally. Especially from 13 onwards!!

1) How did you meet 4 (Elizabeth Teo)?
erm. I went to school? And made it to Year 5?

2) How much does 9 mean to you? (Tang Yiling)
Erm. Without her, erm. Lit class would be missing someone? hahaha. That doesn't mean I don't like you Yiling!! Just can't find the words to express myself. =D

3) Describe 14 in two words. (Zhen Zhou)
Zhen. Zhou.
hahahahah, erm, ok, let's try. Black. Tall. (cos' he's tanned from ODAC and wadever and he always blocks me from the sun, THANKS!! =))

4) What is your most fond memory with 19? (Preena Ari)
All the times you guided us through the YV sessions! And I think the most striking one is when you cried cos' you were freaked out and couldn't find me during one of the dinners!

5) Do you know all of 2 secrets? (Amanda)
Erm. No, but I know who knows. =D

6) If you could marry either 1 or 20, who would it be? (Wai Sing or Kevin Yap)
No offense, but neither! I'm (think I'm) not lesbian... And erm, haven't seen Kevin since like p6 maybe.

7) How far do you think you are on 5 stalkerlist? (Leon)
WAY FAR!! Like TOO INFINITY AND BEYOND!!

8) When is the next time you're going to see 7? (Hanis)
Whenever we next have an AHDC outing!! =D

9) When is the last time you saw 17? (Samantha)
Before school hols. hahaha. And btw, she still owes me my 8 Days!!

10) How do you think 13 feels about you? (Hexun Chua)
I honestly don't know. Maybe he could tell me. But I hope he thinks I'm nice and friendly. =))

11) Are 11 and 12 anything like each other? (Tiara and Huiling)
I HOPE NOT?! hahaha, HELL NO.. =D (unless Huiling has a wild side!)

12) Describe the relationship between 14 and 20. (Zhen Zhou and Kevin Yap)
Erm, They've never met. LOLS.

13) Would you ever want to date 18? (Chua Si Min)
Only if she decides to teach me how to conquer my fear of Ms Lin.. HA!! =D

14) What do you think 9's parents are/were like? (Yiling)
Erm. Never met them. But to have produced a nice kid like her, they must be brilliant people =))

15) Is 10 single? (Adeline Ong)
She's my mom. GO FIGURE.

16) If you had never met 6, how would your life be different? (Alicia)
OMG. I WOULD BE HOPELESSLY REPEATING YEAR 5... =(( and I would have never grown as person either.

17) If you could tell 8 one thing right now, what would it be? (Jodie)
JIAYOU FOR PROMOS!! And we need to go volunteer together someday!! =D

18) What is the funniest thing you've ever heard 16 do? (Annabel Koh)
HAHAHAHA! No need to hear. =D She twitches in her sleep =D

19) How did you meet 15 (Tze Lin)
HEH. ISAC =D And ASEAN.

20) How did you come to be friends with 15? (Tze Lin)
hahaha, erm. She guided me through ASEAN? More of a we're thrown together to work together, so we play and go crazy together kindof thing. LOLS.

21) If 3 died, would you be lost? (Xunlin)
OMG. MS ALICIA NG WOULD BE LOST.. =D But yes, I would miss her..

22) What is the most weird thing you've ever seen 4 do? (Elizabeth Teo)
Erm. TEACHER'S DAY GHOSTBUSTERS? Take Maths in Uni but teach GP? =D

23) What is 5's only weakness? (Leon)
Erm. Big Feet? XD

24) Are you friends with any of 19's friends? (Preena)
If you count YV people then definitely, YES! =))

25) Do you think 16 and 8 would make a good couple? (Annabel and Jodie)
HAHAHAHAHA!!! Well, they could bond over their love of volunteering I guess? if they really had to. =D

26) Who is 7 to you? (Hanis)
erm. DELEGATE!! FRIEND. SMALL KID.. =D

27) What is the one thing 20 most excels at? (Kevin)
Erm. Studies I guess? Since he went to RI..

28) If 1 and 3 hated each other, what would change? (Wai Sing and Xunlin)
OMG TOO MANY THINGS TO NAME!!!

29) If 2 said to you that she loved 5, what would your response be? (Amanda and Leon)
I would faint and cry and just die.

30) Is 11 anything like 19? (Tiara and Preena)
Erm. I honestly have no clue? Just that they're both cool people? ._.

31) How much trust do you have in 12? (Huiling)
LOADS =)))

32) If you fell off a bridge, would you trust 13 or 17 to catch you up more and why? (Hexun and Samantha)
Erm. Hexun? I hate to say this but he's a guy, quite nice guy. Can be very chivalrous =)) And plus, Sam's reflexes are not that fast... And she would probably just stand there in shock and give me the evil stare. eek.

33) Who do you like most out of all of these?
erm. How to choose? I like them all. I love some. And they're all important to me in some aspect of my life. =))))

alright.. first one!! =D

Kindof Summarizedly Random

2009-10-04T14:12:00.002+08:00

loads of things to write about. But well, let's just summarise it all first, before my incredibly short attention span leads me to do something else.

Exams are over, finally. It didn't feel as good as it was supposed to be, and we actually were moping around for a while. In the end, we decided on ice cream therapy and went to Parkway Parade, bought 2 tubs of ice cream and sat down and ate. Lots of hijinks ensued as per normal, and we went crazy together.. hahaha.. Oh and when I say we, I mean Amanda, Samantha, Yuesing, The Woman and myself. hahaha.. lols.

alright then the next day, I went for Li Wen's NYAA Gold Award Ceremony. Met up with her and Jessalyn for lunch at Macs first. Got my free lunch, and then randomly talked with them for a while. VERY RANDOMLY. hahaha.. Sigh, those 2 need to talk more. I was like the conversation filler.. hahaha.. =D anyway, then Li Wen's mom picked us up and went over to TP for the ceremony. I somehow survived that 2 hours with Li Wen's mom, hahaha.. My Chinese really半桶水 leh.. I think she understood me. I hope. hahaha.. Then after that I couldn't go for dinner with Li Wen and Annabel (sighs.) because I was supposed to have dinner with Ryan and Ashley at Hooha.. haha.. Not bad after all, quite retarded the whole dinner, laughed with Ashley the whole way.. =D Ended up leaving about 12 midnight. lols. usual luh, actually its slightly earlier than usual.. hahaha.. man I ate so much that day.. =D Started with a bowl of glorious mushroom soup, followed by alfredo penne pasta. Then Granduncle Victor came and we got free food.. hahaha.. I ordered another round of mushroom soup and escargot.. =D SHIOK SIA.. =))

Next day, ended up waking at 12pm, haha.. And kindof didn't do anything all the way until late afternoon. I filed everything and packed my room up. Amazing huh! Went to grandparents' house for dinner. All my cousins were there. So cute those two. =D It was Crystal's birthday, so there was cake. Anyway, just sat there, getting a leg massage and watching the show.. =))

And I woke up at 12pm again today, haven't done anything at all today either. Just spamming notes on facebook.. haha.. And I'm going to The Line (shangri-la buffet) for lunch tmr. YUM!

P.S. Will be posting a different Ellen Degeneres monologue every week!! It's the 2nd orange bar.. =))

P.P.S Class outing on Wednesday!

P.P.P.S. Removing braces (hopefully) on Tuesday!!

FREAK

2009-09-29T21:29:00.002+08:00

Freakishly

Really

Effing

Annoying

Kaleidoscope

Yups, today was some hell of a day. First of all, I woke up knowing that it was Geog exam today. Which just automatically spells doom. I wish Bokkie was teaching us, would have felt more secure. Just knowing she was there. (Gods I sound like a star-crossed lover... ._.)

Then on the way to school, my whole freaking bottle leaked, causing everything and I mean everything, in my bag to get wet. For that matter, everything is still downstairs drying off. -_- My Geog notes, which I seriously very painstakingly compiled, the first major effort I've ever put into my work for the first time, got wet. I'm totally gonna buy non-soluble ink from now on. FML. It was smudged and some of the ink had dissolved, my notes were basically unreadable. There goes my last minute studying plans. The book that I had borrowed from the library, wet to the core. Still outside drying, and its still wet. Brilliance. My spare phone batteries, which thank the heavens still work. My pencil case, which still happens to be oozing water. -___- My wallet, which I'm really quite depressed over, because so many nice things were in there, most important of which was the note that Kent wrote me, it's the freaking original and I can never get another one back if it's gone, I'm hoping really hard that I can get it back dry enough, if I have to recopy the words, I will. But it won't be the same.

Then was the Geog exam which to tell the truth wasn't that fantastic. NTW syndrome again. I think it's a chronic illness now. Like my need to acronymise everything.

And of course, the thing that is really bugging me now is that my GC also got wet, which is sooo not funny, what with the Maths exam tmr. YES, FREAKING TMR. In the morning at like 830. I'm soooo pissed off right now. Shan't rant here, need to rant at someone human. lols. In the end, I'm gonna borrow from Maths department now, thanks so much Mrs Tcheau, you are seriously the nicest and best teacher ever! =) And Jerome has happily dismantled my GC, although how I do not know, since I spent like 20 whole minutes trying to open the screws that secure the screen section, it's at some goddamn weird angle, see for yourself. Hopefully he can fix it. Sigh, but I shall have to rely on Mrs Tcheau for now.

And I've no problem with using spare calculators for now, only thing I'm worried about? If you give me TI now.. I might not know how to use it. And that's not a nice prospect either is it?

WOOOO FML!!

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!

2009-09-25T21:00:00.003+08:00

All my buddies, put your hands up!

If you hated it then you should walked out of it. (X3)

TOTALLY.

This past 2 days have been GP and Econs. Both were bad, BIG TIME BAD. It brings to mind Will Smith's Bad Boys song? Like "bad boys bad boys, whatcha gonna do when we come for you.." Change that to paper won't you?

Wonderful, Lit early in the morning, Maths early in the morning, Geog early in the morning and then last Lit paper in the afternoon. SIANZZZ..

Why do they have to put the Lit paper as the last paper?? It's always the most depressing paper and I have no intentions of spending my last day of exams depressed. We're supposed to be happy and euphoric after the last paper and yet we just sit around feeling sorry for ourselves!! Did you hear that you exam-timetabling committee?? Before you get complaints about harming the students' welfare, stop putting Lit as the last paper!!!

T_T

2009-09-23T23:10:00.004+08:00

There's only so many tears that you can cry

Before it drains the light right from your eyes.

Lucky I haven't really started yet. But I will.. soon.

In the meantime, I'm counting on several things to make me happy. I'm trying.

Updated

2009-09-20T18:22:00.001+08:00

Just a random announcement that I've updated all the random stuff in the other bars. Lols.

Oh and btw, the new Addictionary word is out!! (3rd blue bar people!)

Afterthought

2009-09-20T17:16:00.002+08:00

Speaking of equality and rights for all..

Why is it that guys are allowed to talk dirty, and everyone will just shrug it off, maybe reproach them a bit, but generally just accept it whereas girls are frowned upon and considered disgusting if they do the exact same thing?

I am of course directing this at some people, you know who you are. Don't discriminate man!

Like a Boy

2009-09-20T00:03:00.011+08:00

What if I?...

Had a thing on the side?

Made ya cry?

Would the rules change up?...

Or would they still apply?...

If I played you like a toy?...

Sometimes I wish I could act like a boy

See that's the thing, guys have it way too easy, and seriously, they've been calling the shots since time eternal.. It's time for women to hit back!

THIS IS OUR ERA!! =))

One thing I have to be clear about is that I'm not necessarily a feminist, I agree that men are useful in their own ways but I still think females deserve more rights! =D And I think that humanity in general needs to be more forgiving and give equal rights to everyone, regardless of who they are, what they are and what they do or what they believe in.

Whether in love or life, men have always been one up over us females, they cheat on us, bring us grief, they love us one minute and love someone else the next. Hell, I've heard stories of this girl who loved a guy, but came home on day and found him in bed with another GUY. Aren't guys just the worst?! I mean, I've got nothing against gays, but it's horrible to play a woman like that.

Speaking of gays (and lesbians), I've been thinking about the fascination and merits and demerits of these orientations. From a purely logical perspective, the main issue people have with them is that they're weird/gross/disgusting/unnatural and that it's not right because there is no way for reproduction to take place in that relationship.

Well, I'm gonna refute that. Gays and lesbians are not gross/disgusting/weird/unnatural. There is nothing unnatural or gross or disgusting or weird about love is there? I believe that as long as they love each other, they make each other happy, then what's wrong? Honestly, gay or lesbian relationships is like living with your best friend of the same sex. You understand each other perfectly, there is none of the "oh gosh the female mind is so complicated and vice versa for the females" kind of thing. For girls, you can go shopping together, you can exchange clothes, you can share shoes if that's what matters to you.. For guys, you can hit the bars together, play sports together, it's like a bromance taken to another level.. Look at Brokeback Mountain and you'll know what I mean, they understand each other, heck, they loved each other and they made each other happy. You wanna dispute that?

If they made each other as happy as this:

Would you still protest against them? They are just as law-abiding as any of us, they're not breaking the law, they're not doing anything immoral. Before the judge ruled on California Proposition 8, when asked whether they would consider marriage, they replied that they had done so many times, but would not do it until it was legal. Hours after the judge ruled that it was legal, Ellen announced on her talk show that they would be getting married, all the more special because Portia was in the audience. This conviction that they wanted to spend the rest of their lives together, whether married or not, is special and something that can be and should be made into a fairytale. =) This has nothing to do with religion and whether its not "holy" or something, love does not discriminate!

And not forgetting the guys, we have our very own Sir Elton John and David Furnish.

Can you bear to break this kind of relationship up? If you didn't know they were gay or whatever, if Elton John was a girl, honestly, would you be protesting? They are obviously happy together and in love. Everything you know about love is that it's meant to be, it's your destiny, love cannot be forced, love can transcend everything and that love is something that should be cherished and respected. So these two couples are in love, they went through so much turmoil to be together, nobody is forcing them to love each other, they have overcome the protests of the conservative society, overcome the media scrutiny and they cherish and respect each other. Who are you to come and say that what they are doing is wrong?

The world population is now at close to 7 billion and we're projected to hit 12 billion in a couple of decades. If you divide the world resources among our total number of people, its just about enough. Why do we need more people in the world? In fact, I think that the soft approach version of China's "One-Child" policy should be a campaign to make everyone a homosexual. No kids, brilliant solution isn't it? As to the whole reproduction not happening in homosexual relationships thing, I say that that's not the point, you're just using that because they're homosexual. I don't see you protesting against couples that are infertile? Or couples who don't want children? All you protesters out there are just biased, sexist idiots. =)

Also, homosexual couples who want kids can adopt. They are so many orphaned children out there. And instead of giving them a family, we insist on having our own. The more homosexual couples, the better. They can adopt these unwanted kids and make them feel wanted. It's a win-win solution. And for those who are gonna say that the kids will grow up mal-adjusted, well, maybe once we stop making the word "homosexual" a bad thing, there won't be any such problems. It's the same as kids with only one mother or one father and their aunts or uncles help out regularly. As long as the situation is explained once the child is old enough to understand, and the child is given lots of love and attention, there is no reason for the child to be mal-adjusted.

If only I could write like this for GP, with more balance and more flair. Anyway, I welcome attacks on my semi-rant, I'll be happy to retaliate. =))

Teardrops

2009-09-18T22:34:00.004+08:00

I fucking lost control of my emotions today. Seesaw, up and down. Somehow I seemed to be on the losing end. Now you know why I need to put on more weight.

One minute I was high, ok but tired. Then I would think about stuff and I would drop really rapidly to low. Naturally not wanting the people around me to know that I'm brooding about stuff, I try to be happy and crazy, like my usual self.

Sorry folks, just couldn't do it. I tried. I really tried. Which is why I only broke down in the dark, when the lights were off. And I did it silently, and erased all traces, I hope.

I was definitely thinking about stuff during the "relaxation time" during Econs. Recovered by watching Ryan Higa (he's a freaking cute genius people), Yuesing now you know why I dragged you there. And then the stuff came back really strongly during opening ceremony, which is why I walked off on my own to PAC, couldn't stand human contact at the point in time. Then I tried to look like I was resting, like I was tired. Which I was, so not that hard there. But I suspect a few rogue tears escaped, I tried to hold them back, I suspect woman saw traces of it.

But definitely during the Wushu performance, I lost it. I couldn't hold back the floodgates anymore. Since it's in the dark, no one can see, and plus everyone was engrossed in that small cute boy doing Wushu (pedophiles all of you!), so perfect time. I let go of everything that I was holding back, but I suspect there's more to come, it's too raw, need to cry like a baby. Loudly and painfully, like I would give anything in the world to stop it.

After promos, I'll release it. Until then, I'll just have to keep it inside. Building up. Day by day.

Life is a mystery, you never know when things are gonna change or when things are gonna happen. I sure wish I could solve it. It's so hard not knowing.

I like to walk in the rain, because then no one can tell I'm crying.

Just a quick one. Really.

2009-09-16T23:17:00.002+08:00

HI WORLD. I'M BACK AFTER SO LONG.

haha, more like popping in and out again. Sigh. I've been busy with promos prep. More like I've been looking like I'm preparing for promos.. Tell you more why later. If I'm ready to..

In the meantime, I just go this few things to say:

1. Alicia Ho's coming back round the mountain when she comes! =D hahaha, random shizz..
2. I'M SO DEAD FOR PROMOS.
3. I've too many uncles getting married.. NOOOO... =((
4. I'm meeting up with Chan Liwen, Annabel Koh, Jessalyn Chan and apparently more people on 2nd October =)))

One last thing before I go, I'm reaching my tolerance limit for someone, you can't abuse me like that without thinking that I won't retaliate. There's only so much my dignity can be chipped at. So there. Watch yourself.

BYE WORLD.

P.S. I've added a new widget, its the 3rd blue bar.

P.P.S I think Ellen Degeneres is so freaking funny and cool. And Portia's acting is brilliant!!

P.P.P.S I've been developing a theory on why lesbians are cool. Anyone wanna add their input? Without your own personal bias please!! Just think of it from a totally neutral point of view.. haha =D

P.P.P.P.S I may have CCN syndrome and OCD. -_-

P.P.P.P.P.S I really want a pair of Beats by Dr Dre headphones!! Or a Beats by Dr Dre Tour earphones. Or a Bang & Olufsen A8 earphones (orange!!)

Before the storm...

2009-08-22T22:28:00.005+08:00

Alrightie, before I do that post on National Day like I promised earlier and a whole bunch of catching up on issues in my life, I JUST HAVE TO GET THIS OUT OF MY SYSTEM!!! hahahaha, alright, I have to admit I have a certain preoccupation with boybands... I mean, why settle for one cute guy singing, when you can have 4 or 5 of them!! Marginal Benefit>Marginal Cost =D So now, I'm gonna list all my favourite boybands and my favourite members of each one =))

Lee <3, Anthony, Simon and Duncan

I've always liked Blue, I mean, their songs are good and they have good singers in Simon and Lee especially. The very first guy I liked from this band was Lee Ryan, he's bloody cute and he's a bad boy, getting arrested for drugs and DUI! Everyone knows bad boys are hard to resist. =D Anyway, after a while, I realised that Duncan was kindof hunky in a weird way, so he ranks like 3rd. Simon has always been fascinating for his amazing body, like look at that muscle man! Wait till he takes off his shirt.. =X

Joey, Lance, Justin, Chris and JC

I mean, honestly, do I even need to explain? Just look at them, Justin was the best looking and had the best voice. Nuff said. Although I had to admit JC came a close second, the rest were just "the people at the back" Heh. =D

Howie, Kevin, AJ, Nick and Brian <3

OK, admit it. At some point in your life, everyone has gone crazy over the Backstreet Boys or Westlife. It's inevitable. Well, in anycase, I just haven't exactly gotten over that stage, I'm perpetually in it. And it's a good thing, cos' they really do make easy listening. =)) Anyway, I always always thought Howie was gay, and methinks I have evidence =O Kevin has impossible thick eyebrows, call me one day and I'll show you. hahahaha.. AJ just really didn't appeal, Nick was a BIT girly back then (honestly I have evidence as well). So obviously (and to tell the truth), Brian was my absolute favourite. He sang the best, back then. He has the best cheekbones, the overall package, the aura. Yup, he was great. =D The first time I saw the BSB, I loved Brian from the start =))

Shane, Bryan, Nick, Kian and Mark <3

OMG, my favourite boyband so far has to be Westlife. No doubts about it, it's definitely them for sure. I mean, its a 4 out of 5!!! 4 hunks out of 5. You can't get better value than that, and if you ask me, they sing better than BSB anyways. =)) So, when I first saw Westlife, I thought Shane was kindof nice, Bryan was cute, Nick was WOW, Kian was EWWWW but oh gosh, MARK WAS THE BOMB!! I love his eyebrows, his devastatingly good-looking smirk and that oh-so-knowing look on his face!! =D Shane was always Ashley's favourite, been arguing with her since forever, but who cares!! Mark is definitely more shuai!! =)) I thought Brian was cute, I mean, he's a super nice guy too!! Giving up his career to look after Delta, darn sweet =)) Nick was an ex-goalkeeper, can you believe that!! He's quite shuai too (not with this hairstyle though, check out later photos!) I have never liked Kian, never understood what people saw in him... -_- And I think I've obsessed enough about Mark, so I shall stop talking about how brilliant he is, or how shuai he is or about how wonderful his singing is. =) Westlife is my all-time fave. Must be that Irish charm XD

Nick <3, Joe and Kevin

When the Jonas Brothers first came out, and I mean with their very first album, the minute I saw them, I fell for Nick. I couldn't understand why half the world was going nuts for Joe when Nick was obviously (in my mind) the cutest and the most talented. (yes people, I don't only go for looks, I like talent too!) People said Nick had horribly curly hair, I found it to be just another part of his appeal! (Go check out Nick's hair in the Burning Up video!!!!!), I hated Joe's floppy hair, it was too long and too "girlish" for me. Heh. I preferred Joe's hair to be spiked as before. If I actually go into my love of the Jonas Brothers and Nick in particular, it would take too long, but ask me one day in person and I'll be happy to oblige you with my dissertation on the subject =) In conclusion, I love Nick, am appreciative of Kevin's guy-next-door image, sense of responsibility and humour. And yes, I actually don't really like Joe..... Take that all you Joe-lovers.

And that concludes my post on boybands, actually I can think of more boybands that I like, but then very luo suo liao.. Maybe I'll do a part 2!! =D

Have fun looking at the photos, if you want more, like individual of each boyband member, I should have, just ask! =))

Catch-up/Ketchup

2009-08-11T23:11:00.003+08:00

I need to play catchup, both personal and academic terms.. sighs. I really need to buck up on my studies.. Especially Econs.. oh gods.. =/

I also need to do a pictures post. I promised earlier in ASEAN Day 2 I think =D I will, soon enough.. Thats some personal catching-up I need to do as well. =)

Ketchup, a horrible pun, a old-school joke. Ketchup you need to catch up. Ketchup is RED.. The colour of passion, the colour of love and the colour of Singapore. That's right. I love Singapore and I'm not afraid to say it without going into the details as to why here. Because I plan to do one whole post on it, especially in accordance with National Day.

I also wanna do a blog post on a certain someone.. Need to decide which someone is more important.. sighs.. Oh well.. we'll see how it goes.. For now, back to reality, and back to eternity.. =)

P.S. Will try to blog soon, oh and I wish KL and SJ the very best together!! =))

ASEAN OUTING!!!! <3

2009-08-11T22:27:00.005+08:00

I was looking forward to this day for quite a while! =D

Dunno how I ended up being the one planning it but it took a while before we managed to get the most number of people who could come, and that was on the 11th of July! =)) The saturday of the week the Year 6s finish their CTs.. Well, Steffi could come on that date which was a fairly big incentive for some of the delegates I guess, haha, she's so busy, it was almost impossible to find a day that she was free!! I even told her I might have to bring her photo! =D

Oh well, in the end, loads of people pulled out last minute, sighs. So on that day, it was just me, Dee Jee, Hanis, Michelle, Amanda, Yu Xin and Matthew.. Come to think of it, quite sad huh. But nevermind, we were so crazy that day wors.. =D

First we went to eat.. At Kopitiam.. Then we went to Kallang Bowl.. And waited.. And camwhored.. And waited somemore.. >:( The staff there were horrible, as usual.. And Dee Jee got slightly pissed.. =O Anyway, we decided against bowling and decided to go and ice skate.. However Dee Jee had to go by 330pm so she went off for a manicure (Don't Ask) and we met Matt and left to go ice skate.. =)) "Mommy" Dee Jee dropped us off at the ice-skating rink and we went in to skate.. Hanis came halfway and skated too.. =D Oh and Michelle was a first-timer and so we spent the 2 hours teaching her how to skate! Gosh she was so stressed!! She was perspiring like crazy in that highly air-conditioned rink, I told her to take her jacket off but she said she was cold!! hahahaha, beat that! Anyway, the thing is, as we rounded the bend at near the entrance (Me and Amanda were helping Michelle). I looked up and saw a familiar face!! BOKKIE WAS THERE!!!! hahaha, anyway, I pointed, Amanda turned to look and she screamed and Michelle fell.. EPIC BEYOND BELIEF!! You could totally see Amanda's =O expression!! hahaha, anyway, we picked Michelle up and went to ambush Mrs Bok.. =D

Anyway, turns out she brought her son, Elliot there to ice skate.. =D We chatted with her, avoided her camera, and basically kept wondering if we should go help Elliot whenever he fell.. =))) At the end of it, Michelle could more or less skate.. And we decided to have dinner together.. =) Amanda and Hanis had to go Orchard though, but I thought they could come with us first so erm.. I made them all go on the 16 bus heading towards Parkway when those 2 should have been taking it in the opposite direction! oops! =/ Anyway, me, Michelle and Matthew went to Parkway to eat dinner at (haha, you guessed it!) Kopitiam again.. =D hahahahaha.. RETARDED HUH.. =D

After that.. we went to Borders to stone and wait for Michelle's dad to pick her up.. =)) We read random books (camwhored twice too! epitome of retardedness!!) and after Michelle left (she really has no sense of direction... tsk), I stayed back with Matt for a while to randomly chat and read books on design -_- I have no idea why also.. lols.. Either way, after examining a book on small houses and bedrooms, I walked with him to the bus stop and then chatted some more with him until his bus came =)

Then I went to join my family and we headed home.. All in all? A fairly fruitful day =)

REALLY REALLY LOVE YOU GUYS! WE NEED ANOTHER OUTING!!

P.S. Another outing, with preferably EVERYONE this time.. =))

Skipping through...

2009-08-11T22:15:00.002+08:00

Gonna skip past the June Hols, nothing much happened except for the fact that I went for buffet like 4 times in that one month.. =D

1. Shangri-La Hotel The Line Buffet (BRILLIANT BEST I EVER HAD)

2. Ritz Carlton Buffet (which is really really bad, don't ever go there.. )

3. Sheraton Towers Buffet (Desserts are the most sinful thing ever)

4. Tung Lok Lunch Buffet (Sharksfin and sashimi are quite good)

I studied for CTs, or tried to... Had my CTs, died through.. HBL was horrible, like Yuesing said "HELL BASED LEARNING MAN!!"

So, thats a brilliant summary of everything, the after-CTs I went through quite in depth already, so my next post is gonna be on the ASEAN outing.. =))

ASEAN Day 4

2009-08-11T21:20:00.002+08:00

This was a really really fun day!! First in the morning was the tour with the overseas delegates! =D

I went with Junwei, Dinah, Rebecca and Huan Jun.. AND YES I WAS THE ONLY JUNIOR AGAIN.. sighs.

hahaha. Anyway, I wore jeans and a teeshirt, cos I thought I would be going to the Christine Suchen-Lim talk later at the NLB.. In anycase, it was FREAKING HOT!! I nearly melted.. =/ Rebecca was the best lah.. Dressed in 2 tank tops and hot shorts.. =D Gosh, it must have killed the "powersuit corporate lady" image that the overseas delegates had of her!! hahaha.. =D

ANYWAY.. We got on the bus and we first went to Funan for breakfast.. There we intro-ed the Indian delegates to Ya Kun!! And we learned that prata did not originate from India x_x And that Merule is a real camwhore! He even took pictures with Ronald Mcdonald!! He claims that Ronald does not sit in that position over in Brunei... -_-

After that, we headed over to the Parliament House area, where we looked at this statue of an elephant.. I honestly don't remember the exact name of the place.. Someone enlighten me? =/ Then after that we went down to the Singapore River and walked along while our guide told us fascinating stories of Singapore's past. =D Merule also took a photo with a python!! SO COOL HUH!! yup yup, anyways, took loads of photos outside by the River before going into the brilliant Singapore Art Museum.. Anyways they gave us this very funky pink sticker with some Emperor dude on it (who coincidentally people think looks like Moses!) After walking through the museum, laughing retardedly all the way, hanging out with the Indian delegates, confirming Lakshmi was dating Akshay, we left the Art Museum and went to take the Singapore Flyer (which also coincidentally isn't that fantastic after all)... We took the Flyer together with the Taiwanese delegates and camwhored, and I just sat on the floor of the Flyer and erm, well, stared down, and erm.. Oh, the Taiwanese teacher, Huang Lao Shi (!!!) came to talk to us.. Well, us being me and Rebecca. Dunno why, we just happened to be there.. =/She talked about what a good job we were doing.. =D Sighs, come to think of it, she's darn nice, hope we get her back next year!! =))

Then we had lunch at the Singapore Flyer, one of the restaurants downstairs.. and I decided that since it was too late, and I hadn't had lunch, that I would skip the Christine Suchen-Lim talk.. Which defeated the purpose of me wearing jeans.. -_- I suffered in the heat for nothing.. -_- Anyway, since I was free til about 4++ I decided to head back to school with Rebecca, but we decided to shop around first! =) We went to The Cocoa Tree and had a fun time playing "Guess The Weight".. =D Basically they were giving 100g of chocolates free with every 300g purchased or something to that effect. So.. I decided to buy for the delegates!! And Rebecca was buying for I dunno what reason.. LOLS.. So we mixed and matched and tried to get the perfect 400g.. =D hahahaha.. Rebecca really really scared me, she was so ZONKED.. =/ She had no idea what I was talking about when I tried to decide which combination to put in.. She didn't understand the simple maths and logic that I put across to her.. Basically, she was so tired, she wasn't absorbing anything..=/ In anycase, we figured out that big toblerone weighs like 3g more than the mini ones.. =D And we bought our choco and headed back to school.. =) I made her sleep on the bus cos' she really really was zonked.. I won't tell you what she did at the bus stop, cos' she'll be super embarrassed.. =D But if you ask me, maybe I'll tell you.. =))

Anyway, I went back to school, left Rebecca at the hostel and went to the canteen in search of my dear dear delegates =) They were happily going nuts at the canteen!! =D So cute, they had this script all prepared and they were planning to parody songs to fit our organ trade theme.. SO CREATIVE HUH!! =)) Actually they had a whole script prepared on a parody of committee sessions, but there were too many inside jokes, the others wouldn't get it.. =/ Oh well, the script made me laugh so badly, so many unglam photos of me laughing!! =( hahahaha, in anycase, stayed around to watch them prepare, laugh at them, shake my head at them camwhoring on Matt's com... (Poor Matt).. And I just wanna say that I'm so so so proud of my council and all these wonderful delegates! You guys put in so much effort into this small performance and even came early to prepare! =) You worked together and came up with a good skit, even though the AV equipment failed on us, you still put up a good show. I am proud of your resilience, your strength in adversity and most of all your fun-loving, party-animal, crazy personalities!!

Heck that's right, we went nuts for the rest of the night, cheering and screaming, shouting, taking photos and generally loads of laughter! =))

I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH!! CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!! =))

ASEAN Day 3

2009-08-11T20:56:00.002+08:00

OMG THIS IS SO FREAKING OVERDUE... I'm gonna try and clear all the owed posts in eh.. 2 hours! hahaha, wishz me luck! =)

Alright, ASEAN Day 3. Gosh, its been almost 2 months since then, but the memories are still dear to my heart and clear in my mind! =))

This was the day of the first Plenary Session, and of course the ending of the Crisis!! Well, since I wasn't there for the Crisis.. I can't say much.. =D Oh and Plenary Session was also kindof boring for me, since my resolution wasn't being discussed!! >:( Oh well, in anycase, I stayed outside and spammed food.. =D Yay!! hahahaha, oh, oh and in the morning, Rebecca was freaking out BIG TIME!! She kept asking me for the list of proceedings, I called back to Admin Room so many times, first to Steffi then to Yi Hsin. Then finally I ran back myself. Then just as I was turning the Admin Room upside down to search for a copy of the proceedings, Rebecca called to say she found a copy over there in the PAC.. -_- Any Dunmanian knows that the PAC is freaking far away from the Conference Room... And I was in court shoes.. And I RAN over to the Admin Room cos' Becs said she needed the proceedings ASAP. (And she said it with this really frantic look on her face, so I ran, despite the pain...) OH WELL...

Oh, this was also the day Steffi fell sick.. =(( She went back to the Admin Room to rest while I "guarded" her lappie (a beautiful MAC!!).. haha.. anyway.. Did I mention that this was the day I wore my uber uber chio RED blouse from G2000?? Oh gosh, I love that shirt. For the one and only reason that it is freaking RED!! And everyone was like o.O when I stepped into Admin Room, I got eh.. 5 greetings of 恭喜发财! in just 20 minutes.. -_- The problem with that shirt? It was too flashy and bright.. Which on the whole is not too bad, considering my flashy and colourful character.. =D BUT the problem was, since I was wearing highly uncomfortable and slightly loose court shoes.... When I went onto the stage, I was dying already.. When I came off the stage however, I apparently slipped and fell sitting onto the stage.. x_x The best part? I had no idea how I ended up on my butt.. o.o Ms Aw and Ms Devi were like shocked out of their minds.. =/ I was just erm. IN SHOCK.. hahahahaha.. Oh well, lesson learned. =D

This was also the day I got to interact more with the delegates!! We ate lunch together at some "abandoned" staircase near the PAC.. =D We traded phone numbers and I loudly announced mine slowly so all would get it =D GOSH I CAN'T HELP MYSELF SOMETIMES.. XD Basically we talked and talked and talked, and I found out more about them, and they probably found out more about me.. =D I think Michelle must have been shocked, given that she's known me longer than they all have and I think I spoke more in that 30 minutes than I ever had to her.. =/

Alright, so ladeedadeelah.. Skip the rest of the boring (plenary session whole day mah) day and straight to debrief.. =) Debrief was kept decently short, seeing as I had no idea what Plenary was about.. I kindof just stoned.. =D hehe.. If I remember correctly, this was the day I went to have dinner with some random other ASEAN people.. Actually not very random.. Come to think of it, I was the only junior there.. =/ I went with Rebecca, Jun Wei, Huan Jun, Joseph, Wynne and Steffi. WOAH.. It's like a Who's Who list of Smart People.. Guess who was the odd one out?? Anyway, I think it was lucky that I was there in the sense that all of them were DYING... Literally.. Steffi was sick and tired. Rebecca was tired sick. Joseph was also super tired. Junwei and Huan Jun were only kept alive by food.. hahahaha.. And I was the only vaguely still able to run on adrenaline one.. O.o So I helped Steffi and Rebecca choose their food, made sure Steffi had water and whatnot, yeah and generally tried to stay awake. In the end I was exhausted though! Even blur pok Rebecca noticed.. She was like "Nicole, are you alright? You just suddenly stopped talking.." So to all my friends, if I stop talking, something is really wrong. =D

Anyway, to end off the day, Mom and Dad came to pick me up and I gave Wynne a lift home. =)

ONWARD TO ASEAN DAY 4!!

I wonder what's it like to have it all..

2009-07-23T21:23:00.002+08:00

I've been listening to songs by Mitchel Musso, he's really quite good, still unpolished, but he can only get better! =D I'm looking foward to his next album.. =) My favourite track on his current album is "The In Crowd", go take a look!

Alright, so tonight for some weird reason, I don't have homework, and I really honestly have asked around for any homework. And its OFFICIAL! I actually don't have homework today!! =D People, please go buy 4D, its so unusual.. hahahaha..

Anyway, because I don't have homework, I was doing some thinking.. (YES I DO THINK, contrary to what some may believe.)

What is it like to have it all?? I mean seriously, what is it like to go to school everyday not worrying about whether you've completed all your homework? Not to have to worry about what people think about you, not to have to worry about your studies, not to have to worry about your life?

I wish the world wasn't so modern actually, like Amanda said, it brings voyeurism to a whole new level. Everyone is watching your next move. Sometimes I think its actually very horrible to be a celebrity, but then again, they have it all. They seem to be able to take the pressure, especially those who DO have it all.

How do you handle that kind of pressure? How long more before they crack? These are the exact kinds of questions we normal people are asking ourselves, and we make bets and guesses on when exactly they will crack. Which actually leads to more attention on them, further speeding up the cracking process. Its a bloody vicious cycle.

And so, in knowing this, why do we still do it? So many people have lost their lives, or at least have had it ruined/wrecked because of this constant attention. Heath Ledger, Michael Jackson, Lindsay Lohan, Hilary Duff, Britney Spears and countless others. How many more do we want to see? Everytime there is a death or a scandal, we say that the person couldn't take the pressure, and we say it as if its a bad thing. We mourn them and yet we don't solve the problem at the root.

Well, you know what, I think I like not having it all. =)

Welfare... My life, my position, my heart.. =)

2009-07-19T18:25:00.004+08:00

Let's get away from depressing posts shall we? But then again, exam results are always depressing, so no one can blame me for that...

Remember me saying I screwed up the ISAC interview? Well, I sort of did. lols.. As in, I applied for Sec-Gen and Deputy Sec-Gen. I didn't get it but hey, I'm actually happy! =) Those posts went to much more deserving people ---> Jia Yi and Anthea. =D Clara is Secretary, Events Directors 1 and 2 are Eustance and Zhi Ming. Corporate Relations is Jiawen and I'm the Head of Welfare. =) I'm totally much happier in this role, it has less responsibilities, which allows me to focus on my schoolwork more and God knows I need to be. I'm not exactly the most disciplined person in the whole wide world after all. And and this role allows me to merge my dream worlds of CSC and ISAC together!! I get to plan CIP for ISAC =D Me happy!! The seniors totally made a great decision in the choice of this year's new comm. I think we're all totally fitted to our roles and we're gonna do a great job! =))

Now that we've taken over, we've got to handle the handover ceremony and DUNMUN.. =)) I shan't say much here because the details are "supposed" to be secret.. LOLS.. We'll see how it goes. Oh and just a random point here, I was surprised at how many Tao Nan people are in the comm! like 5 out of 7 lor!! =D So cool, it's totally a Tao Nan reunion!! =)))

School hasn't been so bad so far, we've only been going through CT papers. I'm expecting it to pick up pace soon though. Oh, I got accepted for the Global Youth Forum, and I've decided to go for it, which means I'm gonna miss one week of school.. -.- From the 29th of July to the 3rd of August, which according to Sihui is just 4 school days! But as I kindly reminded her, we only have 5 school days a week, so thats 4 out of 5... Which frankly, is a lot.. lols.. SHe's a facilitator for the Forum which means I'll be missing school together with her.. =)) Hopefully when I come back I can catch up cos' promos are in 9 weeks time.. Just after September Hols.. EEK!!

Hahaha, on the bright side, that means when Alicia comes back, I'll have finished exams!! =)) Leaving me perfectly free to go out with her =D

If you see my girl
Just tell her I miss her smile
Tell her I'm counting the minutes
Gonna see her in a little while

Oh, oh, oh, oh
And tell her I love her

Ahhh, I miss you Alicia Ho!! October can't come fast enough! =D

Jigsaws no more; Fragmented soul

2009-07-15T22:32:00.003+08:00

I was right. I always say I'm right, and normally I like being so. But hey, there are always exceptions to the rule.

Today was a horrible day as well. More horrible than yesterday if I may offer my expert opinion.

I walked out of the house running about 5 minutes late. The skies were starting to get gray and cloudy, but I figured the clouds were more towards the paya lebar side, I was walking towards Parkway. I thought I would be fine. I was wrong. The clouds started getting blown by the wind towards the Parkway side and it started to rain as I got into the bus. Then when I reached the bus stop and pulled out my umbrella, the rain had started to get ridiculously heavy. I met Suat along the way and she insisted on walking by the front gate way, which resulted in both of us getting RIDICULOUSLY wet and soaked right through. And I lived with wet feet, wet socks and wet shoes for the rest of the day. When I got home, my feet were scarily white and they looked so wrinkled.

I got back my Lit results even before flag raising. It's my first U. Looks like the storm really set the mood for the entire day. I really don't want to think about Lit, it's horrible and I never want to get that kind of grades again. The problem is, with other subjects, I can say I'll study harder and remember my content. For Lit, I know my content but can't analyse to save my ass. How do you teach someone to analyse? I hope Ms Ng has an answer to that.

Then it was PE. Because of the rain, we couldn't go to the tennis courts to play tennis. Dang. In the end we were stuck in the ISH with every other class having PE. Squashed to one corner and trying to control a tennis ball. My right forearm muscle is still aching like mad ----> More evidence of my utter unfitness and horribly tensed muscles. All in all, a horrible morning.

Then it was Geog. I now officially hate Melvyn Tan. Seriously, he contradicts himself BIG TIME. First tell us that models aren't in our syllabus for exams, then he keeps referring to them nonstop. And no one has a clue what the heck model he is referring to. What a FIRST CLASS IDIOT.

During the free period between Geog and Civics, I went nuts with Yuesing. Thank God for that woman, she keeps me sane. I know that statement alone sounds insane. But I love hanging out with her, she destresses me. We sang songs like lunatics and I think the teachers (including Ms Lin) sitting in the table in front of us must have thought we were crazy. Who cares? I really released all the pent-up emotions during that time.

Civics wasn't all that bad. Although we got back Geog, well, at least I passed. Not that well , but at least still D. So as of now, my grades are DEBUD. How brilliant. URGH..

If you thought that was the worst. There's more. ISAC interview. I swear I screwed it up. I definitely pissed off Steffi, cos' I interrupted her a few times. I apologize for that but sometimes I can't help it. It's like an instinct, a knee-jerk reaction to someone talking. It's also a annoying thing that I need to conquer. And why do I get the feeling I pissed her off wayy earlier than today? I don't know exactly what I did, but in anycase, I apologise. Steffi, I'm sorry if I did anything that pissed you off and whatever it is, it's probably one of my many faults which I'm trying to correct. During the individual interview, it was probably more disastrous. Heck I don't want to talk about it. The only funny thing was that all of us were trying to make Clara the Sec-Gen.. But she doesn't want the post!! Weird right? She's perfect for it. Oh well, we figured in the end that there was no sense in forcing her and thus Zhi Ming clarified by saying that although Clara would be perfect for the post, she doesn't want it. Thus.... bla bla bla.

And that was the horrible ending to a horrible day. I'm hoping against hope that tomorrow will be better. The only bright spot I can see tomorrow is seeing Mrs Bok. We're going to Kallang Leisure Park to see her! On another more gloomy note, there's EOM due on Friday and I have not started. Whee YAY WHAT FUN..

Now's the time to let the whole world know,

You can shine bright but still keep it real.

Jumbled Jigsaws

2009-07-14T21:43:00.004+08:00

Ok, I realise I totally owe a hell lot of posts.. Like

1. ASEAN Day 3

2. ASEAN Day 4

3. Rest of June Hols

4. CTs

5. HBL

6. ASEAN Outing

But But But, when I find time to talk about it, I promise I will. This post is just about today, the highly freakishly disastrous today. Today, I got back GP, Maths and Econs.

Quite varied really. And I don't know what to think, because I know I should be doing better, and yet all the teachers say that this is super normal. And yet when I look at other people, my friends, like say DH.. He's doing way way better than me. Then again, I have to say that his in-class attitude is WAYY better than mine. And I'm happy for him. =)

GP -----> I'm top of the class for Comprehension, but died for Essay, THUS D.

Econs -----> Scraped double digits for both, according to our new teacher Mr Harry Thiew, that's not bad, considering the standard of my class. Is our class really that bad? >.< ANYWAY, I GOT E.

Maths -----> After I finished the paper, I figured if I was lucky I would get 51 out of 70. Which is an A. Apparently, I was not that lucky. Managed a B.

After meeting Harry Thiew, I think I have a shot at salvaging my econs, my maths, with a little more hard work should get there too. GP, well, I might actually have to start writing essays. GRAH. Well, this has been a wake-up call (and I suspect tmr will be worse), so I'll have to start putting in more effort. On a side note, I think I'm gonna enjoy having Harry Thiew as an Econs teacher and a co-Civics Tutor! =))

On the other hand, I can't say the same for Melvyn Tan. I hate his notes and his lectures. I think his tutorials are slightly better. He looks like the Incredible Hulk, but sounds like Spongebob Squarepants with more comfortable pants, if you get my meaning. He may be very experienced but I don't like his style.

AND NO ONE GETS AWAY WITH DISSING MICKEY MOUSE, NO ONE!!!

Of course, I have to admit, I really really liked Mrs Bok, and this could all be due to some sense of loyalty to her and utter biasness. But he only came in now, and he better be prepared for this kind of treatment. He's gonna have to get on my good side. I'm a rebel, but I toned it down because I loved Mrs Bok, and I respected her. So its Melvyn Tan's turn to earn that respect. And good luck to him if he doesn't manage to do so, cos'

HELL HATH NO FURY LIKE A WOMAN SCORNED. =)

Tomorrow I'm getting back Geog and Lit. Gonna die like never before. >.<

Tomorrow is also the ISAC interview, I want to get the comm position, but I also know I'm in no state to go for it. Hopefully I can pull myself together. I NEED TO. ISAC is gonna be the one thing that keeps me going to school.

So Let's Go.

ASEAN Summit Day 2

2009-07-07T17:00:00.000+08:00

How should I do this? Blog in chronological order? Or just do whatever comes to mind first? Well, you know what, either way, ASEAN is the obvious choice. Alright, so let's pick up where I left off. In other words, I should be doing ASEAN Summit Day 2... Here goes!!

Day 2 ----> I woke up late!! Must have been too tired the day before, so I couldn't make it to the hostel on time in anycase. Mom sent me in the end and I reached school JUST on time. =P

Day 2 was much much better in terms of committee sessions, everyone had properly warmed up and they had worked really really hard (until 2am I heard) on the OT Resolution Paper.. They spammed the forum, kudos to Janice, Matt and Michelle for getting the ball rolling! Amanda thanks for being the middleman/middlewoman, passing the message between the chairs and the delegates! I know it was irritating sometimes but haha, who asked you to be in my council? (Oh wait, I did.. =D ) So the resolution paper was still unpolished and the 2nd day of committee sessions was all about refining and making it into a paper worth debating at the plenary sessions. Still, I enjoyed the 2nd day much more because everyone was more active, everyone talked and there was a lot more going on.

Oh and haha, the ASEAN Times came out!! Super interesting and I think the delegates enjoyed reading about it, I remember there was an exclusive interview with Nabil on his country's view of OT.. =D Great job by Yuxin, Candice and Stephanie!! =)) This day was a bit more slack, there was plenty of time to hang with the delegates and talk to them, cos there was lunch first before the Crisis session.

Hahaha, there was a lot of admin related stuff to do though! We had to collect the press reports and bring the resolution paper to the admin room for printing and all. I remember there was some insane scrambling to look for Steffi's thumbdrive cap or something like that hahahaha.. In anycase, only the chairs were needed at the Crisis session, I was supposedly on duty to pass notes around but there were more than enough people there, so I ended up being back at the admin room, erm, Slacking? =P

Well, not entirely slacking, I just kicked off my incredibly uncomfortable court shoes, and helped with the editing of the resolution papers =D Formatting and spell check and the like, it was fun seeing Ms Aw tear her hair out in frustration over the bad phrasing in what I think is the Science and Tech council's paper. And I was the friendly chocolate crazy person, I felt like the Easter Bunny! =D IN a good way that is. I happily skipped to the canteen and bought Kit Kat, and when I came back, everyone wanted, hahaha, lols. So I went again, and bought again. And I came back and they STILL wanted more. So I went again. I must have the singular biggest buyer of Kit Kat and water that day. Uncle must love me by now. =D I think I bought like 13 Kit Kats? Gosh, come to think of it, thats a lot. o.O

Ok, so after that, I forgot why but someone started playing Bejewelled Blitz on Facebook and soon everyone grabbed a com and started playing also! Grrr at Denise for taking top spot.. LOL. In the end, by the time Crisis finally ended and Rebecca, Junwei, Sam and all the chairs were coming back to the Admin Room for debrief, I was so bored I was playing UNO on facebook, which in case you didn't know is incredibly slow and its a live game.

Debrief was ok, not so much of a bitch fest really cos we were all super super tired. It was exhausting. Although it didn't seem like much to do, I mean, simply deciding Best Delegate and Best Delegation was torturous. We argued for so long whether it was to be Russia or France! When I say forever, I literally mean forever. We were worried whether the delegates would see us as being biased if we awarded the prize to France, some councils France did better and some councils France did worse. The problem was the the judging criteria for the award was Committee Sessions - 50% and Crisis Session - 50%. Russia and France were evenly matched! Oh boy, in the end we gave up and decided to make it a tie. Gosh, I don't even want to go into details of what happened AFTER that. It was insane, just to give you a hint, it had to do with the actual prizes. LOLS.

Anyway, that was the end of Day 2, and I'd never looked forward to my bed that badly. hahaha..

Day 3 coming up!!

P.S. I'm gonna do a photos only post soon!